figure things out w/my mom

not evry1 has the perfect mom i mean there are the types who are too hot then there are the types that are just right and there are just way tooo cold and i mean cold thats my mother right there or am i being too mean .. well i hope that as i get older ill understand her more and respect me more n i will do the same but i just hope it wont hurt now wuld it.

for two people who simply do not see eye to eye (and probably never will)?

I would guess that a mutual respect is involved, but what happens when your view on something and her view on it do not match, and doing what YOU think is right would make HER feel disrespected? Do you compromise your own values/opinions/etc for her sake? Or do you do what you think is right and find some way to articulate to her that you’re not doing it out of spite, rebellion, or anything else negative…. you’re doing it because it’s your life and that’s what you believe (for better or worse, sometimes)? Then, how would you reconcile the feelings she would then have toward you? Just say, “Eh, it’s not my fault; I’m living my life with as much respect toward you as possible, but you’re just being domineering, unforgiving, and close-minded.”

?!

I must have been given a mother like this for a reason…... what am I supposed to figure out about life or about myself or about human nature through this relationship?? Something to sleep on (for a long, long time!!!!)........

maybe I’ll change this to “tolerate my mom good-naturedly”

...with a capital “R”

Part of this goal, right now, involves telling my mother that I am going to take charge of my own life and do what I feel I need (/want) to do, and she CANNOT make me feel guilty about it any longer.

Humph. ....crosses arms and pouts….

In all seriousness, it’s time for me to break these weird ties that are connecting me to home, to my mother, and to Alabama. It’s a mix of a few different things, predominantly GUILT. It makes me sick to my stomach when I think about it. As much as she has done for my in my life (and I appreciate all of it!!) but now she is negatively affecting my current life & my outlook on life. It really makes me sick. It makes me sick because I DO feel like I owe her something, some kind of thanks, gratitude, something for raising me, putting me through school, college, always making sure I had food to eat and somewhere to sleep. My parents have been great. My dad still IS great! But my relationship with my mother turned sour long ago, and I don’t know how to fix it. Things are so tense between us the only thing I can concentrate on is getting away from her, out of her [judgmental] sight. It sounds awful, but damnit, it’s true.

at which things starting going downhill. I can’t fix that, but I can try to figure out what we can do to fix things from now on.