learn how to ask for help when I need it

I’m going to complete this goal because I think I have a good start on it—it will probably be a lifelong process.

1. I shouldn’t push my luck and way overdo it when I’m feeling OK—I should use my common sense and ask for help or hire people to do the heavy lifting.

2. The world won’t stop revolving if I don’t do everything.

3. Most people are pretty nice!

4. Deal with problems one at a time, treat the symptoms, relax and laugh.

Delegating is good for everyone!

There’s one big thing I wish I’d known when I was younger, and that’s that most things that seem out of reach or hard are actually skills you can learn. Also, I think I used to fear that if I asked for help people would think I would be a burden, but it’s more that everyone needs help sometimes. The people I ask have almost always asked for help from me at some point.

I asked a friend to help with moving some heavy stuff around that I couldn’t move right now and fixing a few things around the house. Once you get the hang of asking for help, it gets easier! Today I’m going to round up my mom and son to do some gardening-hehe.

But I still need to consciously incorporate this into my way of thnking and problem solving. I’ve noticed that the healthiest, most effective and most successful people seem to know how and when to ask for help, and they can do it graciously, fairly and make it a situation everyone benefits from. That’s what I call balance!

I was listening to Lean on me by Bill Withers.. and then playing it. It’s a great song for releasing you from the feeling that you are all alone, there ARE people there who can help. You only need to ask. Yeah, have a listen to it when you feel overwhelmed.

I asked my parents for help recently, which completely goes against my grain. Their response: to pry more deeply into my affairs. Apparently, because I need some help right now, I can’t take care of myself or manage my own affairs. I need help – not lectures, not someone taking over my life. I don’t understand their response – since I haven’t asked for help more than once in the 18 years I’ve lived on my own.

I have really been stressed lately and I hesitate to reach out to my friends, even my husband. Well, you know – everyone has their own problems. I guess I figure why should I inflict mine on them…

I think that I really need to just reach out. If my friends really don’t have time, then … they can say so. I shouldn’t just assume that they will see my issues as less important than their own. I don’t know why this is so hard for me. It is just hard to let people in.

I think we’re about to ask for help on a pretty big scale. I think we’re going to sell our townhouse and move back to the area our family lives in. Both of us have been out of work for a long time now and we simply have to start over, I think. Sigh. Not the place I thought I would be as I turned 38. It is certainly humbling!