learn how to ask for help when I need it

I was listening to Lean on me by Bill Withers.. and then playing it. It’s a great song for releasing you from the feeling that you are all alone, there ARE people there who can help. You only need to ask. Yeah, have a listen to it when you feel overwhelmed.

I asked my parents for help recently, which completely goes against my grain. Their response: to pry more deeply into my affairs. Apparently, because I need some help right now, I can’t take care of myself or manage my own affairs. I need help – not lectures, not someone taking over my life. I don’t understand their response – since I haven’t asked for help more than once in the 18 years I’ve lived on my own.

I have really been stressed lately and I hesitate to reach out to my friends, even my husband. Well, you know – everyone has their own problems. I guess I figure why should I inflict mine on them…

I think that I really need to just reach out. If my friends really don’t have time, then … they can say so. I shouldn’t just assume that they will see my issues as less important than their own. I don’t know why this is so hard for me. It is just hard to let people in.

I think we’re about to ask for help on a pretty big scale. I think we’re going to sell our townhouse and move back to the area our family lives in. Both of us have been out of work for a long time now and we simply have to start over, I think. Sigh. Not the place I thought I would be as I turned 38. It is certainly humbling!

but not completely. Kind of have refined my goal with another new one, by identifying and asserting my needs. Asking for help will emerge from this.

...do I think I need to do everything all by myself?
And above all; why do I think I CAN do everything by myself?

I often just freeze up on the thought of going to somebody asking for help.

Mmmh, there is something about pride in this..

So scared of sounding needy!

I think I need to remember that I become needy when I cannot ask for what I need properly, so I end up hoping the other guesses and of course they don’t. The irony is that I am sure if I could accept/assume what I need, I would feel and sound much LESS needy!!

Got poorly, still waiting to hear what it may be, serious, not serious, don’t know. But god it is the first time I HAVE TO ask for help as there are things I cannot do anymore, or struggle, and this hurts..

Not sure whether is the fear of showing vulnerability, pride, lack of humility.

Have always been so self-reliant, so resilient, so wrapped up in myself and now its my own body which forces me to go and reach out, without me having a choice anymore. I have shut up all those voices inside who wanted me to reach out all those years, and now here I am, not completely alone but stuck in being able to ask. It is scary, I don’t want to swamp people, I don’t want to look needy. Mmmh, bit of pride, definitely.

Not sure about what would help me to ask for help – and not feeling completely like falling apart or inferior. Maybe being clear about what I need would help, and putting the request out without feeling like there is something wrong with me. And not putting the other person in a power position, which will make me loose my thinking even more, and probably make the other person uncomfortable. Well, that’s a start.

I admitted in a blog that I was having a hard time keeping my spirits up recently (also in an email to family) and I was overwhelmed by the almost instantaneous response. Friends and family alike called throughout the day yesterday, which was wonderful! I’m really grateful to all my friends and my family.

I asked my father for a little help this week, something to help me get ready for the two interviews I have scheduled now. It was hard for me to actually do it, and I kept coming up with excuses not to, but I did it anyway and he was glad to help.

I also asked my mother if she’d be available if I needed her to come up and help me and she too said she’d love to help me.