I will still love them…from a distance. 3 weeks ago
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I am part of an extensive online community, where I’ve also hosted several popular discussion groups for the past five years.
I have very clear rules concerning the group’s overall etiquette and posting rules for local events and such. However, I’ve had people, who of course don’t read the rules, or seem to think that they don’t apply to them.
I used to send them each a message, explaining what they did wrong, but it ate up so much of my time and stressed me out; especially when some of them just got pissy anyway.
So I decided to stop pampering them and actually follow my own rules, which stated that offenders risk getting deleted, or banned, without notification. It certainly has helped my stress level and probably taught a few people that the rules DO matter, at least in my groups.
However, I’ve been having to deal with a bit of an asshole guy; whom I’ve also met in real life. He’s quite the egomaniac, and all the things he does seem only to pander to his self-aggrandizement. I’ve let him post events on my group; however, he never followed the formatting rules – so I’d correct or fix it for him.
Then he’d start promoting his own personal website in the link, rather than posting the event info properly.
Anyways, I got really sick of it and the whole situation. I did my best to be impartial in the community, and gave him more than enough fair chances, but he is proving to be too much of an egotistical asshole. So I banned him from my discussion group!
I’m sure that he will try to find some way to try to complain that he is being denied the right to promote his events, but my group rules also state that I run the group my way and won’t tolerate shit-disturbers.
So, despite the fact that I’m sure he’ll try to bitch about it to others, I’m glad of finally taking this action. I don’t owe him anything and in fact, I gave him way more leeway than I have for others – so he’s already way past due. 3 weeks ago
I’m having to relearn this goal since negative people seem to think I need to replace my beliefs with their opinion.
So I’m reopening this goal and focussing on improving how I act. 1 month ago
I dropped out of university in early January. I didn’t know what I was going to do or what exactly I wanted to do with my life. All that was concrete was the fact that I’d be moving back home and living with my parents and sisters.
Being in such a position in my life with so many great uncertainties made me vulnerable to negative attitudes. Due to this, when I started hanging out with one particular friend of mine again after returning to my hometown, the path that held a mystery destination began blowing away with the wind.
As discussing with this friend her general perspective on life and its effects on the both of us didn’t take much of a toll on her complaining and bleak outlook (or the degree to which she expressed it), I’ve decided more recently to keep my distance. My path has made a reappearance and continued to grow. It’s time to start walking :) 1 month ago
So I received a message from “B” totally out of the blue. He was the extremely needy “emotional vampire – victim” that used to be a part of my life, but that I decided to part ways with. At the end, he drained so much energy out of me, as I tried to be a supportive friend, and simply ended up feeling used and misled.
He said that he had been going through some of his old stuff and found one of my old letters (from 2 years ago), in which I had clearly stated that I no longer wanted to be in contact with him and for him to return my belongings.
Well, apparently it reminded him of me and he said that he hesitated to contact me (because I clearly had stated that IF it was to happen, I would be the one to initiate it). Apparently he is totally unclear on that concept – duh!
So he says that he still wants to be friends, still cares for me, etc. etc. He should have thought of that when he had been acting like an asshole back then! It’s not like he is actually apologizing for his actions either.
He says “But I will not re-enter your life if it cause you pain, grief or discomfort”. Well in that case, it would have been better if he had actually respected my wishes of not being contacted, like I had so very clearly stated at the time.
This whole thing obviously can still get me quite upset.
I was born in the Year of the Dragon, and I’m a true Dragon in that I’m not one to easily forget or forgive such actions in one that I believed to be a friend, and to whom I was being super supportive at the time (to my own discomfort). I did not appreciate being taken for granted, nor for going around behind my back, and pretending like these things didn’t happen.
Anyways, I will simply file this episode away and continue to keep that chapter of my life closed. I’ve definitely moved on since then, have many new friends and a new love in my life, and I have no need to go dredging up things that only stress me out and no longer do any good for my mental health. 2 months ago