stop caring about love and romance so much

This one is ongoing. I was fortunately and unfortunately cursed and blessed with what is often seen as a girly-girl “aww” soft side. I struggled with it for a while when I had quite an “I don’t give a damn” rampage of a certain sort a while back. But in the end, I can’t hide it. I am a hopeless romantic and I hate it. I think I will just turn hopeless and not care! I think I would be freed from the torture of caring about even finding someone. I am not looking but I am not not looking either. I just want to stop caring or thinking about love and romance. It’s such a fuckin pain in the ass and sort of a waste of time! I need a treadmill damnit because everytime I think of anything too much, enything- be it a problem, a dilemma, something stressful, sex, any sort of fantasy, anything disgustingly romantic, I need to release and perhaps should run!!! I grew bitter at one point and was just so damn bitter last year but before I had engraved it in stone to be absolutely bitter, someone came my way. Of course, this someone turns out to now be my ex who I no longer talk to and pretty much hate, but in any case, I think I found such happiness or such relief in just becoming bitter than staying romantic. Make sense? I think I felt “Ah screw romance, boys, girls, love… I will only care about me!” And I was happy… I think I’m a little bit like that now, just minus the anger. I don’t know if this will ever be checked off my list. I guess it’s just far easier to make up your mind than it is to make up your heart. But even then, as much as a heart can be charmed to melt, it can be taught to forget (even if in vain), and I am teaching myself not to care about this aspect of life and focus my energies on something far more productive instead. :)