be a better conversationalist

I was at lunch with co-workers today and had real trouble keeping the conversational ball rolling, even though these are people who I can talk (mostly) just fine one on one. It seems conversation is especially difficult for me in groups. I think normally I can sneak by because if the others are chatty, no one notices much if I don’t say anything, or I can appear to be participating if I just ask a question here or there.

I notice that no one on 43T has actually posted on how to do this goal. Is it impossible?

I really want to be able to hold a decent conversation without feeling awkward. I used to be able to do that before, but it seems that after I started dating this one guy my confidence went out the window. Now I can’t even make eye contact while talking to some people I’ve known for years! I’m defiently going to change this.

1. Stop and have a conversation when you see someone you know if you’re not busy. Don’t just say “hi, how are you?” and keep walking.

2. Remember people want to talk to you.

3. Make observations about what’s happening around you. You don’t have to stun everyone with your killer wit everytime you speak.

4. If you have nothing to say about the topic, say something general that kind of relates. I often stop myself from doing this because it seems random and out of place, but it’s much better than not conversing.

5. Use your hands a bit when you talk to people—you seem really uncomfortable when you keep playing with them, or just leave them hanging there.

6. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, ask questions so people know you’re interested in them, and listen some more! If people don’t listen/ask questions back, avoid future ‘conversations’.

7. Remember you can learn a lot from everybody; they are all different from you.

wish i could be one.

—- >>> On average:
This goal takes 18 years to complete .. whatttt??? i wanted to back out. lol. wish me good luck.

Yes, this is something I could work on. And feel better about myself in conversations. I should also not be afraid to make conversation, and not feel inferior to people more outgoing or knowledgeable than me.

When I was younger, I was painfully shy. I never really believed in myself and was put down alot when I was young, I let the adults talk for me….Now that I am older and have to do the talking, I don’t always know how to properly interject in a conversation, I feel that I am either being overtalked, or I am overtalking at the wrong point in a conversation. I tend to think to much and when it is “my turn” to talk i become speachless or tongue tied. Sometimes I feel that it makes me look like a know it all or a total idiot. So therefore I don’t engage in long conversations and this is why I don’t keep many or create new friendships.

I’m slowly becoming more of an interesting person to talk to. Keeping up on the news really does help, especially this month, with the U.S. so close to an election and Canada just having had one. Keeping up with science and technology news is also good for starting conversations, and knowing about the other person’s interests (and taking an interest in them – I’m much more talkative when I know what someone is talking about!)

Hurr. I hate when I click “I’m done” instead of “write entry”.

I need to be less of a shy mouse.

Naturally I’m a very quiet person. I used to wish I was more outgoing and talkative, but I am beginning to accept my personality more. I’ve enrolled in an 8 month program at a school that started yesterday, and noticed that I am better able to engage in conversation than before. It’s a publishing course, so for the most part people are a bit nerdy and, for me, easier to relate to. It seems like there are lots of questions to ask and small talk has never been so easy.
One of the biggest drawbacks I have is thinking people aren’t really interested in me. I think to some extent this is good, as you kind of want the focus to be on the other person, but if you share nothing of yourself then people might not want to share themselves with you. Give and take. That’s how them conversations go!

I am pretty good at this, but i feel like just as often i have no idea what to say…

i also get really anxious. :/