His name was Alex and for the first few years we knew each other he was just another kid on the bus, another kid at my school, the kid who’s locker was 2 down from mine.
Then one year he was more. He was the kid I sat with each and everyday on the bus, he was the kid who made school life bearable, he was the kid who’s locker was a meeting point that was like a life line.
He was my bus buddie, my ‘kitty’, the lunch table friend.
He was so much to me.
From hanging out at school, to chilling at the local teen night club.
He was just one of those people in my life that made things seem, normal I guess.
Seeing him made days peaceful, that kind of permanent fixtures in my life.
So when he was gone, my life was so different.
Not only was one of my best friends now dead.
But everything in my life was missing his goofy smile, his awesome hair, his warmth and love.
It was gone…
Now I deal with it almost two years later and see that I really did need him in my everyday life.
The seat next to me is now empty.
The locker down from mine is now used by a different boy.
I sit with a whole new crew at lunch.
I feel so empty without him.
Like a huge piece of me died along with him.
I’m not myself.
I’m broken and scared.
I’m in need of a hug ALL the time.
Getting over his death seems so distant and difficult.
But I’m making it my goal to do it.
And getting over his death does not mean forgetting, like I once thought.
No, getting over his death means I just can’t dwell on it 24/7.
I need to keep on living my life.
And I need to remember all the awesome times we had.
I need to live my life.
And remember his.
