stop drinking

this is something I’m not quite ready to do yet, but I would like to get there. drinking never really benefits my life in any way.

I do receive some liquid courage from it, but sometimes I can’t help but go overboard & the next day the worthless feeling kicks in along with major anxiety & embarrassment…it’s so not worth it.

I realized a couple of days ago that Nov 1st marked 4 months of sobriety. I can’t even begin to describe the wonderful work that God has done in completely delivering me from my alcoholism. Unlike my many failed solo attempts to quit, I no longer have good days or bad days; I simply have blessed days. Every day is a blessed day because every day that passes is a day that alcohol is not even a thought in my mind. I no longer try to resist alcohol; rather, alcohol simply doesn’t exist to me.

Let me be clear on this: My sobriety is not my achievement. My sobriety is given to me by the grace of God simply because I have chosen to completely submit my life to Him and live my life for His works and according to His will. The best news of all is that the deliverance of alcoholism as well as all other habitual sins is available to everyone through the grace of God. Psalm 107:10-16 says:

“Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the words of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. So He subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.”

Wow! I get chills every time I read that. The words and the truth are so powerful, profound, and alive!

For more information on my story, please click the link below. And please feel free to contact me at any time. I would love to help in any way I can.

http://www.43things.com/how_i_did_it/view/62494/how-to-quit-drinking

I am I suppose what you’d call a “social” drinker, in that I drink purely for the purposes of being intoxicated with my friends and actually do really really enjoy that aspect of it. But every now and again bang it becomes too much… either I can’t cope physically or mentally with the amount I’m drinking (and even been expected to drink),either that or I get into some sort of depressing trouble. That in fact causes immense distress and so I generally knock the drinking on the head for a while..but after a while when I’ve forgotten about the distress and when my body has recovered from the binges I kinda begin to miss going drinking with my buddies. I’m 25, and actually all of my sociallising and hooking up etc revolves around getting pissed. Its a sad thing to say about our culture (I’ll not say were I’m from) but it very heavily relies on drink as a catalyst. I know everyone here’s problem with alcohol is different, I don’t think I care so much about the alcohol as such, but more the social aspects that I’m forced to take part in. If someone was to tell me tomorrow that nooone was gonna drink ever again I wouldn’t miss it one bit. But the fact that everyone does, and everyone EXPECTS you to do it…its shite!Like your parents, dr’s even friggin alcohol councellers!!! I keep trying to define what the problem is, and how i can get out of it, but I think that I have togradually unlearn one way of life and relearn another. Like, why should society be based around alcohol? We are naturally social animals anyway, it cannot possibly of advantage!

I know some of us “old timers” on this site have been wondering about Neally and for those of you that don’t subscribe to Neveragain68, I thought I would share this link I read today in my subscriptions…

http://www.43things.com/entries/view/4310749

It looks like Neally has decided to try the path of moderation rather than abstinence. Just thought I would send this update because I know Whitesunset and others have been wondering, like myself.

This is my sixth day off the beer and I already know I am going to fail at this. I will not drink tonight (athough I am dying to head out with my friends for a few) but I know I will cave eventually. Why? Because I know I’m only 70% committed to it. I want both things, both the drink and the lack of consequences. It all depends on what I want more at the time I suppose. Right now I want to wake up having not drank tomorrow morning. But some day, I’ll think fuck it, whats a few beers. I don’t care what anyone says, this goal is the hardest by far…the sense of ambivalence is whats killing me now! Like I’d love for one of my friends to convince me, but at the same time I don’t. Its crazy.

Had a great vacation over the past 7 days. I decided I would temporarily suspend my ban on alcohol. We had a great time and I enjoyed our time away. A few evenings I had a little too much, but no hangovers or ridiculous messiness. I’m pumped to get back to my alcohol-free life; though this was a nice break to let go a little.

I promised to be really honest with this so while I made it through yesterday I had a drink with my friend last night at dinner. I realized that while changing my behavior at home is working, the socializing thing is not. I was oh-so proud of yesterday, then oh-so bummed this morning. BUT, I need to dust myself off and get back on the pony. The thing I am pleased with is that I didn’t come home and continue drinking and I didn’t stay out late drinking.

My next step is to figure out a strategy for going out. I have one in place for this weekend. It’s a birthday party and a friend and I are promising each other not to drink. That will help.

One other thing is that I am going to take the advice of Josh and talk to people at tomorrow morning’s AA meeting. They have it all set up and so easy to reach out but I have just been to shy and left right after the meetings. Not tomorrow. Tomorrow I am marching right over to the people in the front and talking to them and getting some names. I can’t do this alone.

One other thing I want to mention. I really beat myself up this morning and just had to stop it. Every step is a positive step and every fall is a lesson. If I sit and kick myself, I will just end up saying “to hell with it” and I don’t want to do that.

I beginning to think of my goals in terms of small, minute, tiny baby steps instead of these mad drastic extreme life altering crazy sweeping decisions.
I am the worst for doing this…I go on the most extreme diets, extreme fitness regimes, extreme work binges and all the time other people just putter around and end up getting more done consistently. I’m going to take small steps instead of big ones with regard to work and fitness etc. The smaller the better as long as its in the right direction.

As for drinking, I need to stop seeing it in such black and white terms. I know I need to quit, but I also need to acknowledge that this is not simply a decision. It is a process that takes time and again small , manageable steps. Even if it means taking “one day at a time” so be it. I don’t necessarily like living my life like that, but its fine for now because eventually all these small steps cascade into something much larger.

For today at least I’m taking it easy.

Good luck
TR

I went to an AA meeting today. I have been very resistant to go to AA meetings. I have gone in the past but never liked them or thought I didn’t. Today’s was different. A totally different group than the other meetings I went to and the topic of the meeting fit right into the way I think. I got a lot out of it. I think if I just let the Universe do it’s thing and trust it I can really stop drinking this time. I have a whole day ahead of me and am looking forward to it.

i am now three days into my personal campaign to stop drinking. i started with thinking that i wanted to stop drinking so much but am slowly coming round to thinking that i would probably benefit from eliminating it completely.

three days in and i can already feel my mood has lifted. having drunk heavily in my younger days working in the city to drinking to de-stress until my forties (two bottles of wine a night)- enough is enough. i realise that i have become a liability on a night out and i also have realised that i cannot really face people (including friends) without a drink. obviously bigger issues to look at in time but for the first time i feel really positive about this. here’s to day four.