Ok, so I’m loosing count it’s like 7 months. I guess it really doesn’t matter… I had several weeks where I was thinking about drinking, especially, since my wife was out of town for several weeks and I could do what I want.

It’s strange that other people “don’t see” my problem with AL? but, I guess that is why it’s MY problem.
My wife never thought of me as having a problem, until I caused a augment with her then she would always say ” what were your drinking? ”
I feel divine comfort now when I say ” NO ” because I haven’t been.

I have always controlled my drinking by projecting that the other person I loved , had a problem with my drinking. So, I felt I had to hide it. I guess that may have come from my upbringing, It was always don’t tell your Dad or so and so….

Well today, there is nothing to hide! cause I not drinking :)

Well, here’s to another month … Have a toast with me!
YES, I’ll drink to that

1 week ago

Hey everyone, its been 28 months for me, almost 2.5 years and I am doing very well, dont even think about wine or booze for days at a time now. Which is astonishing because it used to take up a huge space in my head day in day out.

I thought I would relate an experience I had this last week. I had my crew of biologists out working on some sites out of a small town in southern BC. Accomodation was sparse, but I found an Inn with three rooms they could stay in. My daughter works for me, and she related to me that the innkeeper was kinda creepy. It seemed like sometimes he was ok, and others just a really rude, abrupt, wild looking character. He would barge into peoples rooms and be incoherent. I went to pay him on the day we checked out, and he was beligerent but worse than that I could see he had been drinking too much for most of his life, puffy, shakes, bad color, bloated stomach, yada yada. He needed a half an hour to do my bill (!?) and could I come back. When I came back, he was calmer, more rational, shakes gone, color slightly better…and I knew from the slight whiff of voddie that hed had a nip. Possibly a very large nip. At 10 AM. I visited a friend who lives there, and he confirmed my suspicions. A terrible drunk, notorious. So I read the Trip Advisor reviews. Mixed. Some found him fine, some found him incorrigible and rude and just plain weird. The reviews are hugely inconsistent for this Inn. I just thought it was sad and yet another indication that career drinking can ruin your professional life or rather you ruin it for yourself. BTW he also deliberately overcharged me, and I could tell he was calculating how much booze the extra cash would get him. And not how he had lost another potential repeat customer, the best kind, in the Inn business.

I kind of wish I had felt sorry for him, but I didnt. In fact he was kind of disgusting, and I could hardle wait to get away from him but one thing is for sure, there but by the grace of God and my own determination to quit, go I.

All the best to you wonderful people out there. Keep going. SO WORTH IT. love K. 2 weeks ago

so weird just read my last post – and it was about wanting to go the pub. im stilllllll craving.. nearly a year later! wtf! im feeling a bit lonely these days. i think i awlays feel like no one likes me and i dont have the mask of alcohol behind me. i was sober for just over a year and have been having relapses since january. all of them were horrendous – and blackouts and not remembering how i got home entailed. afew times i went to the pub alone and was bought drinks. which was kinda fun and i wish i could stay at that ‘few drinks’ part.

im just feeling a bit isolated right now – and un fun! right now im sitting here thinking – shall i just go to the pub put some make up on.. meet some guys – buy me drinks. im wondering if any social life is better than none! because i really do feel very isolated. i think people like me up to an extent then i become a horrible person. like maybe i expect too muchof the friendship or something. im a little tired of thinking and beating myself up. also – im not too sure about aa. ive been goign on and off for a while. but it pisses me off. I FEEL SO LONELY!!!!! AHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH

OK. maybe i’ll go buy some chocolate or something. ive stayed in all weekend – due to the feeling i might drink. im on a week sober now. i think maybe i’ve forgotten how bloody traumatic it was quitting. but im hanging on in here!!!! 3 weeks ago

Hi guys,

Just stopping by to say that it’s three years today. Three f*ing years today. Gosh. Three years. :) I just realized it almost by accident. I don’t struggle at all anymore; I never ever want to get drunk anymore. I have not one single thought in my head which would romance drinking. Never. I’m free now and I can say to everyone here: don’t waste your precious life trying and hoping that you quit someday. JUST DO IT. And one day, after many emotional rollercoster rides, you notice that the calm has come to stay for good. And that’s priceless. I owe my sobriety to myself and definetely to this site. It’s been calm here lately, but it hasn’t always been like this. My special hug to Cindy – I’m sure that you are doing just fine. You rock lady! 3 weeks ago

was at a BBQ Sunday and was offered a beer…I brought my Iced Tea, to help me get by. Luckly, no heavy drinkers at the BBQ. Well, their were 2 of us, and we both weren’t drinking? Hey, nice to have company on the “No Thank you to beer”
I was ‘questioned’ why I did not want a ‘beer’
I was ‘told’ how I wasn’t a ‘big’ drinker
I was also reminded that ’ you can have just 1 ‘

It just shows how interested people are in you. I’ve know these folks for 6 years now. I guess they missed me at the parties we went to, or at the pool over the summer while I was getting blasted !

I’m happy to know that i can choose to drink or not, most people don’t follow your life. The only ones who really care if your drinking or not are the ones looking for a drinking buddy!

Here’s an image for you ladies,

1 month ago

Didn’t sleep well last night and feel achy and a pounding headache no matter how much ibuprofen I take. I spent some time coloring with my daughter, made some cookies and trying to make the best of it. Tomorrow will be a better day. 1 month ago

Went to bed last night looking forward to a good nights rest, to no avail. Woke at 3am only to toss and turn, have bad dreams and a racing mindful of thoughts.
At 6am time to rise. I have a feeling of a hang-over without the ‘pleasure’ of AL in my system. Yes, I feel like shit!
Now, my anxiety is running thoughts about getting rest tonight at 9 am in the morning. Will I be able to sleep? Hmmm…maybe a drink or 2 (3,4,5,6,7,) to relax. Blah..Blah…blah.

I have other things to deal with right now in my life.. and AL is on the lowest part of that list… and will not be a influenced in my life!
1 month ago

When I last attempted to remain AL free I used the 99 days of summer. Feeling that a bench mark would help with having an end in sight.
Which it did, by giving me the comfort to know I will not die without AL and that I can still handle life’s situations.
It will be 6 months free of AL on the 6th of May. Not comforting that Cinco de Mayo “deals” are pouring over the radio driving the desire to celebrate. I just keep reminding myself about the losses I suffered, even though they are small ones, and that these can become big!
As I approach my 6 month I will need to keep focus on my decision not to drink and let AL suffer the pain (to do without).

1 month ago

Getting ready for a busy ‘yard work’ weekend. For some reason AL wants to join me to. I was seeing a cold 6 pack nearby as I dig in the dirt on a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon. Lucky, I’m at work with just a daydream.
I decided to stop by the store and pick up a couple of jugs of iced tea I enjoy from time to time and plan on have a drinking party with it!
Well, in all in the preparation !

1 month ago

I was up to the point of drinking about 4-8 beers a night, EVERY weekday night – on the weekends, I could easily drink 8-12 beers. At first the drinking started as a way to self-medicate to quell my anxiety and to help me sleep. I was unmotivated and had lost a lot of my passion and drive. Then when the source of my main anxiety was taken care of (walked away from an abusive relationship) I noticed that I was still drinking (although less) as a habit. I got fed up and decided to take charge of my life and lead a healthier lifestyl! Now, I don’t drink a single drop and I started martial arts again! I sleep so much better, feel so much more motivated and energized by life!!! Wow, what a waste of those years…drinking away, day in and day out! Don’t waste another day – take massive action and change your life!!!! 1 month ago

how being sober is so much better but yet it can be so difficult. Some days are such a struggle. A struggle in a different way than they used to be, but still a struggle. In the old days the struggle would be anxiety related, watching the clock, walking the floor and finally giving in to that bottle. These days the struggle is more likely to be I’m tired, irritable, just wish I could go to bed and that little voice in the back of my head saying aaahhh… One drink would cure this mood!!! It’s maybe true. ONE drink probably would, but ONE drink never, ever satisfied me. More, more, MORE.

So, today I’m tired, irritable, but going to push myself to go to Pilates anyway and I can be certain that tomorrow will be better. There will be no hangover to deal with. No shame, guilt, headache, regret, black holes, nausea… just a clean start to a new day.

Peace 1 month ago

drinking dream Thursday night. Wife went out of town for several weeks. This is usually my ‘party’ time at home to just drink, drink, drink without any worries of the complaints from a spouse.
Not that she ever did complain about my drinking, but as we know, we drink on the down-low.
Well, I woke up Friday having the hangover feeling, more from improper sleep, but at least it was no from AL. 1 month ago

is getting me down. C’mon spring!!

I love waking up without a hangover. It’s such a gift. I will spend the weekend sober and I’m looking forward to spending time with my daughter and some good friends.

My life has changed after getting sober. I have so much less tolerance for drama and can’t stand it in my life. Before, when drinking, everything was always drama, fighting, anxiety and regret. Now, I avoid all that like the plague. Can’t stand it. I discovered I enjoy sitting at home, reading, doing hobbies or yoga and pilates instead of going out with friends or to the bar. I always thought I was so outgoing and such a party girl but I’m discovering I’m more of an introvert and had to drink massive amounts of alcohol to feel comfortable in those situations. I’m so much happier.

Happy Sober Friday

Peace 2 months ago

Spent a week away with the family and my parents. As usual totally stressful. We had a type of family reunion, but with best friends and the parents. I know they like to have a few beers ,which they do, I don’t…
So, I picked up several gallons of Iced tea to bring along. This would be my over indulgence while everyone else had a few beers. That time came and I politely declined, and I shared my $1000.00 violin story. ( read early posts )
We all laughed at my stupidity and moved along with enjoying our time and company together.
As the week went on I had several opportunities to pick-up a beer at local gas stations / tiki bar / restaurants and thought how nice it would be to have one poolside overlooking the Gulf of Mexico.
My wife and I had a chance to take a several hour walk along the beach and she wanted to stop for a quick late nite bite. She even asked me if I’d like a beer or cocktail ? Hmmmmm? I just said I’m fine…
I just didn’t do it !! all week and reminded myself there are others out there who also don’t do it…. I want to be one of them :)
almost 6 months ( I think )

2 months ago

It seems I like to post at the beginning of weekends or the end. I like the idea of going in to a weekend sober and the happiness it brings me. Knowing how in the past Friday night was the beginning of a drunk that would last 3-4 days with wasted hours as I was passed out or blacked out. Dirty, miserable days of GI upset, emotional upset, fights (many of which I wouldn’t even remember), driving drunk, desperation to get more alcohol, messes all over the house, calling in sick… How fun was that?! Instead, I’ll spend time with my daughter, sleep well, eat well, do a little yoga or pilates, read a book that I’ll remember and wake on Monday rested and ready for work with no creepy crawly regrets.

Putting down the bottle is the answer.

Happpy Friday All

Peace 2 months ago

I didn’t drink until 18 without problems, now I’m 22 and I’ve had enough. So many people my age, even out of my acquaintances, suffer from cancer these days…

I’ll check it as done after 6 months of abstinence. Counting from tomorrow (I have a party today which I consider my last [mildly] drinking one). I’ll keep you updated each month. 2 months ago