be more charismatic

Robert Green has a the book sectioned off into Types of Seducers, Types of Victims, and The Process by which to going about seducing someone. It is a great read, and I would recommend it. However, it doesn’t directly pertain to this Goal. One part I anted to share, though was the Anti-Seductive qualities. Greene emphasizes in his work that people’s imperfections can be very attractive, these negative qualities however are not:
-The Brute (impatience)
-The Suffocator (desperation characterized by over-enthusiasm, clingyness, extreme imitation)
-The Moralizer (criticism and judgement)
-The Tightwad (cheapness)
-The Bumbler (self-consciousness)
-The Windbag (prattling endlessly generally about oneself)
-The Reactor (extreme sensitivity characterized by close attention to any negative implications, insecurity and often leads to whining and complaining)
-The Vulgarian (self-absorbed characterized by the inability to pay attention to others details)

These are all traits that repeal others and should be rooted out at all costs.

This isn’t working out well. I think the more I try the more I fail. Also, the more I think about the more I feel I am pretty happy with who I am. I’m just not happy with where I am. If I can change that situation I will see things a whole lot differently. I know this. It’s weird but I’ve never felt like I belong here. Time for another ‘thing to do’...

This seems to be the main complaint from the people around. A lot of people feel that I don’t appear to be approachable. It usually takes me a long time to warm up to people. On top of that my interests usually differ drastically from most of the people that I am in contact with in real life.
I think one of my first goals is to be able to smile more but not make it look too fake. Honestly I don’t understand how people can walk around just smiling all day. It just takes so much effort of my part. I’m a bit antisocial by nature so anytime I have worked on my interpersonal skills in the past it just blew up in my face later on. I have social anxiety so when I am around a lot of people for extended periods of time I get a sort of cabin fever feeling. I’m good in small groups though so I try to play off of my strengths. I’m usually working on improving my intellect and artistic skills but I now think that I need to work on my soft skills for me. Before I was working on it because of what other people wanted me to be but now I’m ready to do it for the right reason so I should stand a better chance now.

I have a long way to go… :(

My acting caoch described me as this. And then the guy in my scene said I reminded him of, what I think is, the song “Cold as Ice”. Lovely, well quite frankly I am not going to start believing in love just accomplish this goal. hmph…

i want to be the interesting person that people think about the next day

Charisma is a skill that everyone can improve upon. Merely being confident is not enough. You also have to be able to hold intelligent conversation and disclose limited information about yourself which wont break social etiquette.

This is an eternal goal, and many people abandon it as they get older because it requires constant upkeep. Who ever heard of a great comedian who has been doing the exact same act for 45 years? It requires you to continuously and consciously seek out new material and interesting things to hold conversations over.

I don’t know anyone who is actually an expert at being charming and charismatic. However I do know that confidence which is unfocused to the topics of conversation can end up disastrously. If someone is talking about a trip through wine-tasting country you should know that no matter how confident you act, you will commit a major faux pax if you say that white wine goes great with pork tenderloin.

Nothing is more damaging to charisma than appearing like a cardboard cut-out who has nothing to offer to a conversation.

• Smiling helps.
• Confidence helps.
• Cleaning up your appearance helps.
• Understanding the back and forth rapport of socialization helps.
• Being witty and entertaining helps a lot.
• For the Love of all that is holy- REMEMBER THE OTHER PERSONS NAME. -that helps considerably.
• Being able to contribute to a discussion in a meaningful way helps most of all.

I’d suggest reading up on interesting and funny things. Check out some random trivia books anything from Mental_Floss or even Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers. Cruise the web, find out what is going on throughout the world- celebrity news, or up and coming inventions. I’ve found that neatorama and trend hunter can be invaluable for finding things to start discussions over or to augment conversations.

I’d also recommend taking a serious look at how comedians perform and what their subject material is. Getting people to laugh is intoxicating and makes them want to be around you. Confidence helps you to be able to deliver this kind of information, but when it is unfocused and ill researched you will appear shallow and unfamiliar with social norms.

I started wearing soft fabrics to seem soft and approchable. It seem to be working.

its worth doing. but its not worth thinking about HOW to be more charismatic.. mm i doubt that makes sense.. just hear me out

the entry i wrote 11 months (almost a year ago!) i just sounded so pathetic. i wrote something along the lines of “its called charisma in which i have NONE”
but of course everyone has some charisma inside of them. it all starts with a key element (which i obviously didnt show in that entry)

1)CONFIDENCE!

when your talking to someone. aslong as you have cofidence in what your saying, they’ll pretend they do to.

2)HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR.
smile, laugh and be able to laugh at yourself, every one of us go through embaressing moments in public, but being able to laugh at yourself and move on will make people think twice about you.

theres more. but i think you guys get my drift!
goodluck guys, im giving up on this one because i think i had it inside of me all along. i just never realsied!

goodluck!

now i’m working in sales over the hols i need to do this at work – i’ll be working hard on it today!