ashleyellen1984I want to not want to die
It seems like no matter what I can’t stop myself from thinking that it would be so much easier if I just stopped living altogether. I wouldn’t say that I’m suicidal per say, because I’m not a weak enough person to take my whole life.. but sometimes I find myself praying to God to make it my time and end my sorrow. I ask Him to take my quietly in my sleep, so that I don’t have to wake up to face another horrible day.
When these thoughts come to my head, they’re immediately followed by thoughts of how much it would hurt the people who care about me if I was gone. It’s kind of sad really, that I know it would take something as drastic as my death to get people to realize how much they liked having me around or needed me. Why won’t people just accept me for who I am and be supportive of me? Instead of telling me I’m not trying hard enough, or that they don’t know what to do about me. 7 years ago




