stop secretly hyperventilating all the time

ok so the last time i hyperventilated i actually wish someone was there despite all of what i said in my entry ages ago. it was scary. it was really really scary and i was home alone and no-one could help me. i just wish someone had been there to hold my hand and tell me it was gonna be ok and then hold me when i could breath again.

a thing ive realized abotu thsi goal is that its nto quite right. i do indeed wish to stop hyperventiating, but it is nto clear in thsi goal that if i am gogin to hyperventilate i certainyl want ti to keep on beign secret. just a little while ago i hyperventilated and it really wasnt secret. i was blind drunk, had eaten almost nothign in the day and had began to open up a little too much and began panicking. i passed out breifly a number of times and followign this i threw up many times. i didnt properly regain my natural breathign patterns untilt eh nect day. if this is to happen again i definatly would rather i was alone and no one else had to qitness it.

today i hyperventilated. i was tryign to calm down and stop crying. i stopped crying, evidently i did not calm down. i got to the point where iw as completly home alone breathing at such an odd rate i felt as if i woudl pass out. im ok now though. i guess.