Try not to bottle up my emotions

A couple of years ago I made up a rule for myself…if someone pisses me off on a daily basis or just plain annoys the hell out of me, I don’t need to be around them. I can tolerate this people at school and all but that is it. I don’t need to have lunches with them. I don’t need to waste my energy on them or let them spoil the rest of my day. I can take in so much, but I have also told a few people off as politely as I could. In fact, I told one of them to fuck off. I have never told that to anyone, and you have to act or say something really stupid for me to reply like that. Unfortunetely, I don’t think that person GOT my message. Wow! But that’s ok. I’ve made my point, and if he’s too damn stupid to understand, that’s his problem. I know where I stand on it. I’ve learned how to let go of those who are only there for a short period of time. I’ve learned how to step aside and be the audience. I can count my true friends on my hand and that’s ok. Some people don’t even have that much. We can surround ourselves with many people, but only time will tell who our true friends are. Fortunetely, I know who mine are. :)

Here are the listeners of life. They can be outgoing, bubbly, enthusiastic and a joy to be in the presence of, as well as highly humorous at the most unusual moments! On the flip side, empaths can be weighted with mood swings that will have others around them want to jump overboard and abandon ship! The thoughts and feelings empaths receive from any and all in their life can be so overwhelming (if not understood) that their moods can fluctuate with lightning speed. One moment they may be delightfully happy and with a flick of the switch, miserable.

When I get like that, I don’t even want to be around myself. The best thing to do is to leave me alone. Let me release it all out. I’ll come back. Give me my time, and I will give you yours.

The downside is that empaths may bottle up emotions and build barriers sky-high so as to not let others know of their innermost thoughts and/or feelings. This withholding of emotional expression can be a direct result of a traumatic experience, an expressionless upbringing, or simply being told as a child, “Children are meant to be seen and not heard!”

Without a doubt, this emotional withholding can be detrimental to one’s health, for the longer one’s thoughts and/or emotions aren’t released, the more power they build. The thoughts and/or emotions can eventually becoming explosive, if not crippling. The need to express oneself honestly is a form of healing and a choice open to all. To not do so can result in a breakdown of the person and result in mental/emotional instability or the creation of a physical ailment, illness or disease.

Especially the honest thing. Yep, too true!

First of all, I don’t keep toxic people as “friends” around me. I don’t need their fakiness and over-concern for things that do not matter to me (to them either). If I make friends, wonderful. If not, oh well. I’m an outgoing extravert, but for quite sometime I’ve been feeling a bit the other way around. I need my time alone. I do however recharge around positive and intelligent people. I’ll always be a people’s person but this time with a different twist. I realize that I need to do things for myself, or noone else will really do it for me. There are very few people who REALLY know me, and that’s ok. I’m blessed to have them in my life, especially one in particular. I can always talk to her about things that are really bothersome to me, and she won’t go like…oh my god, everything is such a big deal to you…She understands. Perhaps everything is a big deal to me, but that’s me. Sometimes I don’t react at all (except later) when I should, and other times I react when I probably shoulnd’t have. Hey, but at least I’m not trying to be something I’m not. I’m not perfect. And finally….

Second of all, I don’t need problems/stress. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I try to be a better person always and forever. I guess my biggest problem is the voice of someone who should have been my support, my back bone. When things were good, I was such a good daughter…a blessing. When things were bad (are bad), I was the most selfish, blah, blah, blah being. I may not be perfect, but at least I try, damn it. I have faced my monsters, can you face yours?

Either I say it or I don’t.