crawling..
2 years ago
crawling on this limb until it breaks every strength i’ve got left. some thinks are worth the risk. and for the first time in my life i can wholeheartedly say that.
How to when the going gets tough....stay
It made me
let go. let grow. 
"so cliche but what doesn't kill you makes you so so so much stronger"
How I did it: after a few years of therapy, i finally put myself back on the dating band wagon. one of the men i happened to go on a date with ended up going through the illness of his father while we dated. normally something like this is too much emotion for me but he needed support, so i stayed with him through the illness and through the funeral. it didn't end up working out, which is fine, as long as it provided some good somewhere.
People doing this are also doing these things:
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still here....
2 years ago
and it’s tough. but i haven’t talked around and ran away yet (though i may be pushing away). trying to stay tough while in the tough. though my friend (thank god for friends) made a point that it isn’t about staying tough and not getting hurt. it’s about allowing yourself the vulnerability to open yourself up to someone to allow them close enough to get to know you. perhaps thats a whole new goal all together.
i'm tough...
2 years ago
...but i don’t know if i’m that tough. is it really supposed to be this hard?
stand one.
2 years ago
so. i nearly ran. it was getting too hard. i was feeling too vulnerable. and i suck at confrontation. and conflict. and anything that involves anyone other than myself. but we talked. and worked things out. and. for the first time. i’m still here.
run baby, run.
2 years ago
i hate this incredible tendency in most of my relationships (whether friendship or significant other’s) to run as soon as the going gets tough. i’m terrible at conflict resolution and even more terrible at confrontation. if something is going wrong between i and a person i really care about, my tendency is to either ignore it and hope it goes away…or to go away all together. either way, probably not the best way to “deal” with the situation.
i’ve recently aquired some really wonderful relationships in my life. a couple of them have hit a couple early bumps and i’m seriously fighting the urge to shut the door on them.
