beat this cancer thing not just for me but for my little sister who was just diagnosed with stage II breast cancer. The battle is ON!

And in support I was going to shave my head, but Britney beat me to the punch. Honestlky I am not making excuses but my sister told me that she would tell all of our family and friends that I did it for Brit- Now we cant have that!

My sister has made it through week 1 of chemo, and its making her very sick. I worry for her, and nearly every day I am sending her a card, a small token or a chemo care package-

Her hair is starting to slowly break off, and come out. This is the saddest thing for her. My son and I have offered to shave our heads in support- she claims even she doesnt love me that much to shave her head if the tables were reversed. :o)
And I LOVE this mendhi design on this bald womans head. It looks awesome and I know I could make it look just as good! :o)

I love you Susie!!!

A chemo-care package to my sister to hopefully get her thru the next few weeks. On Thurs they will install a port (a week late because of MRIs) and on the 8th they start chemo.
I bought a soft cable knit blanket, a stuffed animal (dog), a dozen or so books, a hat, some of my childrens art work, a journal for my nephew and a big mug for tea.

Me? I am doing crap on this. Had surgery on Friday but cant saya word to my family since I am 1000 miles from home and they have more than enough to deal with because of my sister. Emotionally its hard. Physically, the results have been positive but I still feel like shit.
My husband just told me he wants no more children and that devastated me. Why now? Why wait until now to tell me this? What a coward. I feel as if the struggle to save my “sexuality” has been in vain. I just feel like I am going thru the motions. He wants something that he says “WE” wants, and thats not it-

Tell me why its so crappy.

about “What doesnt kill you will only make you stronger.” If thats the case, I should be strongest woman in the world.

My little sister was diagnosed Friday with Stage II breast cancer. Somebody make this all better. I can’t freakin’ take anymore.

OK, Got the last of my results back and nothing too alarming found in the ultrasound, which was good news but still leaves so many unanswered questions. Quite honestly it leaves me frustrated as hell. I am sceduled for some procedures towards the end of January and I feel as if I am being pressed for a hysterectomy by the gyn specialist. To me, that means losing my sexuality. I compare it to removing a mans testicles altho the dr assures me that isn’t what it means. I disagree.
My axillary lymph nodes are still swollen and tender for some unknown reasons and while the CT scan showed something amiss, they arent sure what it is. So for now, we wait. The good news is the melanoma hasnt reared its ugly head again since they removed 4 nodes in May.

Trying to get doctors to understand that you can feel something “not right” in your body is a hard thing to do-why wont they listen?
On the bright side, I am finally recovering from sinusitis-drinking tons of cayenne peppered, garlicky tomato juice-the down side is that I am stinky. LOL.

(endometrial) came back negative which is news to cheer about. However, tomorrow is my ultrasound. I havent heard in regards to my CT scan of my lymph nodes yet and that will come when I see my surgeon towards the end of the month.

I am battling a wicked case of sinusitis, bronchitis (a flare up of asthma) and a wicked ear ache. I posted earlier about all the meds I am on and the roid rage I am experiencing from 60mgs of prednisone a day. It isnt pretty. I accidentally purged a new full bottle of darvocets the DR prescribed for my sinuses. How stupid am I? Not a good start to 2007-but its bound to get better-right?

I had my CT scan on Friday and my general surgery consult as well. The underarm where the lymph nodes he removed in May were, theres a new “lump” and now it is a wait and see game.

As well I am anxiously waiting for CT results to return for surgery to be discussed further and with any luck, things to calm down. I am telling ya, stress and toxicity of people are why these things rear their ugly heads.
Namaste.