be less critical of myself

I struggle with this especially when I am tired and hungry.

I am going to try saying some affirmations every morning. I don’t know if it will work, but it’s worth a shot!

Ever since I became a mother I feel that everyone in my family has very strong opinions on how I should behave. One person feels sorry for me because I don’t get to spend much time with my son; another one thinks I should be more patient; another person thinks I should be investing in my career more seriously; and another one thinks I spend way too much time with my son, I should delegate stuff, find a nanny who sleeps here every night, and go live my life.
It is so tiring and so frustrating dealing with this, specially because because I think all the opinions above are not fair. I work part-time, I prioritize taking care of my son (because this is what I want to, it makes me happy, not because I feel obligated or anything like that), I am one of the most patient people I know and I still manage to invest in my career – I am very competent, I like what I do, and next year I’ll finally have my doctor’s degree (and did I mention I’m a straight-A student?).
I would be laughing at these people if they weren’t family, if they weren’t those people that make the difference, if these comments didn’t hurt.
Sometimes I think the only friend I have in this family is my husband.

at a university. Somehow I managed to relax and be myself and made an effort not to be too self conscious. I think it went very well. It was a fruitful day, and I had fun. :)

made a comment that was supposed to be a funny joke.

Certain jokes are just hurtful.

Instead of focusing on the good feedback I got yesterday, I keep thinking I could have done a better job…

Some strong criticism from a person didn’t affect me. I mean, it didn’t affect my self-esteem, but it affected me in the sense that I was very surprised and sorry for the person. I know I was right and I am proud of the polite but firm way I defended my point of view. If something like this had happened in the past, I would have lost sleep over it. I didn’t. YAY me!

is that I often don’t realize I’m doing it. Sometimes it takes another person to tell me I’m being too hard on myself. This goal is a real challenge.

“Maybe being oneself is always an acquired taste.”
- Patricia Hampl

tired
too worried and sad to sleep…
overthinking
overeating
nothing good on tv.

... even though I see more imperfections.

The difference now is that I know those little imperfections don’t matter. In the grand scheme of things, the big things are what matters. I also know that we are all our own worst critics. I know others see me differently than I do. I learned this lesson in the most amazing way.

I was student teaching a seventh grade class. One of my students, Micheal, had Aspergers Syndrome and even though he had a hard time relating to his peers, he had no problem talking to me (and most teachers, for that matter). Most students at that age are really critical of everyone. On a daily basis I heard girls picking out the flaws of just about everyone. One day, I was greeting students as they entered the room. Michael approached me and said, “You know, you have a really nice smile.” That comment affected me in the most positive way. He had nothing to gain because I wasn’t the person who was giving out the grades. He just spoke from his heart. In an environment where criticism was commonplace, he paid me a compliment that I really needed to hear.

You see, I’ve always felt like I needed some dental work. I really wish I could get braces to fix my smile, but I’ve never had the money to do so. When Michael let me know that I had a nice smile, it really changed my outlook. Maybe people don’t see my teeth the way I do. Of course they don’t! It’s so unimportant on the grand scheme of things.

Additionally, I’ve learned that it’s more constructive to work on those flaws that can be fixed rather than dwell on those that can’t. Some people are critical of their height. Well think about it, that’s something you can’t change, so why stress? On the other hand, if I’m feeling a little overweight then I have to take the bull by the horns and fix that, now don’t I?

I’m marking this one as done. I’m going to make every attempt to appreciate what I DO have rather than wasting energy by being too self-critical. :)