erikavandenbush is trying to focus on other things
I love my family. Everyone loves their families. But I’ve been so out of touch with them lately. I’m living with my dad right now. But my dad and I have never had a great relationship. In fact, when I was growing up I really thought I hated my dad. He treated my sisters and I like absolute crap. He would spend more time with his car than his daughters, for Christ sake! And then the little time he did spend with us he would spend screaming and yelling, and even physically abusing us. Fast forward, my parents finally got a divorce. We saw that one coming for years. I was sixteen by the time it was finalized, so I wasn’t forced into visiting my dad. My sisters, though, had to go to his house every other weekend. At first I was super jealous of them, shockingly enough. They’d come home and tell me about all the great things they’d done over the weekend. I later decided that it would be a good idea to try to talk to my dad. At least try to start over with the whole relationship thing. Anyway. You’re probably wondering how if I hated my dad so much how I can stand living with him now. Well, my mom slowly started turning into this huge control freak. And I mean this in the nicest way possible. But basically it would come down to her screaming at me for coming home an hour before curfew after letting her know where I’d been all night and with who. She threatened to kick me out every morning for a full year before I finally packed up and left. I’d had enough of her threats and nasty comments. I called my dad, and three months later, I’m still here.
I didn’t talk to my mom at all after I left. She was too angry and I was too upset. But recently, due to issues beyond my control, I’ve had to actually get in contact with her. It’s only been about a week since I spoke with her for the first time, but she calls me every couple days to check up on me. It’s so weird though. She hasn’t been a mother in years, why try now? But I’m trying to give her a second chance. After all, I gave my dad one, why not her too? So here I am. I want to spend more time with my family. But at the same time, I’m afraid to. I’m afraid my mom’s going to turn on me again. It doesn’t feel good to think that your mother might be your worst enemy.
