Don't think...DO!

Thinking too much. And thereby seldom taking action. Paralysis by analysis can waste years of your life. (Source )

Uhh, this fits.

again step by step. It helped me a lot to remind myself again and again that it’s not always useful to think and rethink stuff, or sorrowing or trying to go through all possible ways situations could happen.

And instead of being afraid of the fear, and of doing something, I try to convince myself by doing it! “Look, nothings bad is happening!” So try and see what happens!

In most cases nothing happens, or – whohooo – something good happens!! And by experiencing this I’m gaining more confidence and trust into “doing”.

I’m very glad that my former therapist had a good way to convince me that it may help me if I just try. I needed this little poke into the right direction!

And after one hour laying in my bed, turning around, trying to think about positive stuff, I gave up. I guess I will become very sleepy again at about 6:30. Till then I would only think about problems. So I’m searching distractions.

I woke up with the sorrows about our Christmas party. I slided into the organization and now I have problems because it like it was every year. To be honest, everything is different. The room were it should take place is occupied and it doesn’t sound like we can have it, we need to buy a Christmas tree on our own, it’s not our groups party again but now with another. Due to this, everything became retarded and all the blame is on me.

I’m whining right now and I know this doesn’t help. It’s too much for me, so I need help. I searched for help but I have this awkward habit to take full responsibility and take those things very personal and seriously! And this isn’t good for my mentally health. O.k., now it’s written down, maybe my tired brain can find a little bit rest now.

and now the question is: “What to do with the rest of the evening?”

• Painting?
• Reading newsfeed
• Reading a book
• Doing a relaxation exercise
• Exercising
• Cleaning my desktop
• Calling a friend
• Writing a letter
• Writing a blog post
• Watching some TV or video on demand
• Listening to podcasts
• Searching for Christmas presents
• Thinking about what I want to do

hmm …

So I’m stopping thinking right now and going to bed! Good night!

Because I’m not content with the current color at all. So back to brown. I bought a nice dark chocolate brown. And now I’m able to dye the hair when I’m feeling bad due to the strange blond highlights :)

Don’t think about “How bad it is how I’m sitting in front of my computer!!” just change it. I don’t like the way I’m hanging in front of the monitor, so … arg .. it’s only a small change. Up my shoulders, head high and looking direct on the monitor.

If I want to use my computer, I should use it, and not hanging in front of it! So I’m now sitting more healthy in front of it. Trying to focus. To use it properly!

Ansatzs (what’s the plural of ansatz when written in English? I saw mathematicians use this word when writing in English so .. hmm.. there has to be a plural?? )... okay … I’m using approach ;)

• How about Seinfeld’s chains? Trying to switch of my computer 20 or 30 time in a row when finishing my routine to make this a habit
• I should buy a cd player for my room, such that I don’t need my computer to have music
• Probably it would be a good idea to start a “shut down after xxx minutes” application.

• I’m feeling lonely when my computer is off
  • Solutions
  • I can read in the room of the bear
  • Go to the bear and read
  • Call a friends
  • Do something which flows!
• It’s so easy to abscond into the computer and those silly click games
  • Notes
  • Take responsibility for your life!!
  • There are other distractions outside the computer which may work better, e.g. a good book, drawing, the tv, chatting
• I don’t know what to do
  • Note
  • Oh, you do!! Take a look at thelists you made!!
• But I can do sooo many creative and inspiring things with my computer
  • Notes
  • Yes, I can, but obviously I don’t do them at the moment, because the computer doesn’t inspire me right now!! So: of!
  • Oh, come on, if you’re inspired and want to write it down, take a pen and paper! This will work as well!

But I’m going again and again into the same trap. Sitting in front of my computer, wasting my time by playing click games, waiting for reactions on blog posts or other community stuff, starring at statistics or refreshing my newsfeeds. The more I do, the more I feel bad. So why do I do it?? This is so stupid.

I should shut down the computer when realizing the first time, that I’m finished with my routine and now are stuck! This can’t be too tough, but why is it?? grrrrr

it would be a good thing to go out and meet people. Talking with them … for example a blogger meeting. But I’m afraid of people. I’m not social. I would love to be smart and intelligent, humorous and kind … a good partner for a chat. In my dreams I am… but in reality I’m not. I’m not able to talk anymore.

I’m only able to express feelings through my fingers. Is there anything with a smaller risk? I do have problems talking with friends, I don’t have friends charing my interests, I’m afraid of meeting new people. There has to be a solution … the world can’t be as bad as I’m imagine it to be …