accept myself the way I am

an art lover. Like reading. Love swimming. Love’s colors. Loving. cant smell atall, loves good food, not very spiritual, foolish, loves animals, has fears, does not make a lot of money—I’ll accept me.

My skin, My nose, lips, weight, feet

why,why do i always feel hurt?Why do i always feel alone?I hate it.I hate me. I hate everybody.Im basically inored 24/7 by my friends,sometimes i wonder if they’d ever notice if i disappered. Or if they’d even care. Im there but im not, im like a shadow and i hate it so much. I hate how i cry, how i hurt and how i sin, everyday. God doesn’t seem to love me. Im ugly, unloved and unneeded. Life is so hard for me. Im back to slitting my wrist and arm aain. Im so pathetic.

god god god.
he answers all.
now that i have accepted him, and life.
i have also accepted myself. all the things that i didn’t like i changed when i started thinking of the lord, and life before myself. now i am always happy, and i love making others happy. when i do those two things there is nothin to dislike about myself.

i have disliked myself for a long time. i hate the fact that im overweight. the fact that im lazy, the fact that my parents give me everything i need and want and i dont do shit. my sisters who are younger than me, over-shadow me with their good report cards and i come home with failing grades. the fact that i never give it my all. all my friends love me. they say that im really nice. but im hurt deep down….....no matter how much i try, there will always be a part of me that will hate me for who i am…....

I hate myself.
i hate how fat i am.
i hate how i sound
i hate how many people dont like me.
i hate how my mom hates me.
i hate how much i complain =\

i haven’t eaten in two days.
and i have lost 5lb.
maybe things are finally changing for me.

I’m almost there but there are still a few things I beat myself up over…I need to realize that as a whole I’m fine.

i keep getting the idea that getting a boyfriend is going to change me for the better , however from many experience that has been proven wrong. i want to correct myself wihtout the potential help or presence of any guy. however i can’t seem to believe what i just said. so i continue looking for guys to save me