find my own edward cullen

im starting to wonder whether this goal is in fact just one of my other goals! so many girls hope and dream to find their own edward but isnt it just simply falling in love, finding a soul mate! with this heightened expectation of all men after being introducted to this god-like ‘vampire’ and his perfectly chisled cheeks…how does any man have a chance! maybe we all might get somewhere if we understands that nobody exterior to the pages of a book is perfect, and apprieciating that lack of perfection their flaws will give everyone a bit more chance at falling in love.

Ok, I haven’t found Edward yet but i am trying to make one. No, i am not going to go out with my brother but i am trying to make him Edward so all the girls he goes out with are lucky. I got the hair right, the style right, the skin is too tanned but anyway vampires are not real. (cry!)

sigh
I wonder if it would happen, to find someone as loving, and caring as Edward.
He’s such a gentlemen! it’s so hard to find these days…

It’s typical of me, I call for something more deeper, like the love Edward had for Bella and then I go for the first guy I can. He is a bad boy, mysterious and something for the eyes but other than that, there is nothing. Sure we’ve kissed once or twice, but he hasn’t made any effort to spend time alone or to do something special. I need help, how do I stop falling for these same guys, and how do I tell them that they are not my Edward.

I hate it when boys dump you after a couple of days or ask you out for a joke. They are so immature!
Oh, Edward!

I have always had short term relationships, nothing to write home about. But Twilight made me realise, that us girls are selling ourselves short, we are the ones who need to set the standard so that every guy knows who come across that we will only settle for the a real man “our Edward”. I am done being used and abused by guys who are not worth a second of my time, this time I want to find my soulmate.

because I was scared that I would never find somebody that overwhelmed and intimidated me in a way because they are so incredibly handsome..I also cried because deep down I dont think anybody will love me as much as I love them. Its not the actual Ed Cullen I dream of. I dream of having what he represents, alas it is a dream. If I find my version I would give everything.

sigh

i cry every time i think about this. i know edward cullen doesnt exist but i need to find MY edward cullen. the guy who is sexy but he doesnt know it. money shouldnt matter. i dont want him to be afraid 2 be with me around his parents friends or other people. i want him 2 say i love you more than you know every day not in txt not on the phone but in person. someone i dont have to pretend for and i can trust. im crying writing this and it seems lame . i have a hole in my heart and i cant fill it untill i find my edward cullen :(

i dont really understand why but it makes me so sad when i think of edward, almost like i know he will never exsits expect in fictionly stories. i wish i would already find him and be eternaly happy just holding his hand :/

this is kinda sad i.i