Learn to be Myself, instead of the person I created

The night before I couldn’t sleep seriously, I went to bed at eleven o clock and couldn’t sleep till four. I spent my life trying hard to fit into what people wanted to me. Just so they wouldn’t feel funny if I ever decided to change. I was most restricted with my friends then with anyone. I always felt like i had to perform and and be happy all the time. I couldn’t be sad or angry because they wouldn’t have put up with it. Now I’m left alone without them I realised I could be myself for the first time in my life. I could chat if I wanted, be loud if i want and just be myself. But now I’m confused, Who am I? Am I fun, tempermenatal, spiritual. I don’t know, so now I have to find who I am before I can become that person.

It scares me because after thinking about this, i’ve realized that I put up a guard of the real me so long ago and never realized it. Now i see what i made myself act like and turn into and i want to be able to act like myself the real me…and it’s a lot harder than i thought.