Express my feelings

Yup, I’m scared. Surgery is on Dec. 8th, if I’m lucky and get rid of this cold in time. Have been reading accounts of others with this kind of surgery and the progress in recovery is slow, tedious, and not at all fun. Everyone tries so hard to be positive, but it’s not easy. Very hard to go into a surgery able to work with kids, to play tennis, to hold my grandson and know that afterwards, not only will I not be able to do those things easily, but I also may be deaf in my left ear, have great difficulty walking, will be dizzy and that is if all goes WELL!
Scary, scary stuff.

I told someone that I was mad at him. It was very interesting to watch how he responded, with defensiveness and anger. He told me that what I said pisses him off. He went on to tell me that it was a two way street and that I should assume some of the responsibility. He’s never complained to me that he was upset about anything, but he wants me to accept fault, for what?
The conversation ended with him saying he was tired, had no more to add and that he was going to bed.
It’s difficult when a friendship runs its course and it’s time to let it go. But I have to admit, this hasn’t felt good for some time. I can let it go.

I talked to someone about his hurting my feelings several days ago. I do not like having to have these talks, but I’m committed to dealing with my grievances, rather than stuffing them. (Traveling last day of trip)

expressed my feelings and am worrying that I did it too forcefully. Oh well.. better that I do it and do it poorly than that I be the only one going around feeling awful because I didn’t speak up.

Later apologized and explained my reaction. Keeping my list short.

http://www.sharebook.net/7hhabits/7heng8.htm

I started and I am glad I started it. I wish I’d done it a bit differently, but I am determined to work on these relationships and stop bottling up how I feel.

I have emoted plenty these past two days. Still a bit more to do to clear up this mess, but I’ve taken the leap and I think it’s all for the best. NOT FUN, but hopefully worth it.

I did it. I don’t feel better, but I did it. We’ll see, maybe with time and practice this will help.

Yesterday I felt very sad about something. I know I need to go to this person and talk about it. I’m afraid to. My goal this week is to do it anyway. Feel the fear, and do it anyway.

as opportunities arise. I’ve also been reading online some articles about healing that help me understand why this is often so difficult for me. I really thought I had worked through these things 20+ years ago, but I can see that old hurts do have long-lasting impact. I care enough about having good relationships to keep working at this until my actions have more to do with the present than with the past.