stop feeling fake.

i acts freindly ad do favors,smile allot, look happy so as a result i have a good friendships but the problem is that i am faking it, faking every thing,

The real me is that i have no feeling except the anger and resentful fake caring about others(very good) that i don’t feel as i deserve my position, so start hating myself for that

I fake emotions b/z every one has his problems and concerned so why to pother others and when they r upset it is easy to fake empathy and that will makes them feel much better

But then i feel like i am a lie, I faked it i don’t deserve the benefits and that is killing me, till me plz am i right about how i react?

I don’t really feel real anymore. Like, I’ve been hanging around people I normally wouldn’t in my right mind. Fake people – and they’re rubbing off on me. I can honestly say I’d never have guessed I’d be here. I mean, I’ve gotten closer to a lot of good people and acquantinces, but on the contrary, I’ve always become friendly with these liars and conformists. I’m almost trying to be them and fit in with them. It appeals to me how they live – parties and hooking up. I never wanted any of it, but now I do, now that it’s offered to me. And it’s like the agitation you get when time is running out and you’re trying to think and finish your test and someone is clicking a pen. I used to be informed and never lie, but I find myself delving into superfluous magazines with anorexic girls and throwing out white lies like people go through a pack of cigs a day. You know, when I find myself lying sometimes, I think it’s because it’s easier than explaining. And then I realize it would have been easier to just tell the truth. Well, I guess I wouldn’t have gotten myself into this mess, then, would I?

No matter how genuine I’m being, I seem to always feel as though I’m not being 100% forthcoming.

I feel that many of my friendships are superficial, even ones that I’ve kept going for years.

I’ve been told the secret is to love one’s self, but that doesn’t seem to be quite the answer I’m looking for. I don’t know if there is an answer.