During the past few weeks I found a therapist and am now following some therapy aimed towards recognizing certain situations that cause me stress and being aware of them. Once I learn how to do this I can also learn to bend them in a way that does not cause me any harm. Balance is the key to these situations. Balance between being bothered and letting go. Balance between getting stressed and staying relaxed. It will be quite a difficult process, but definitely worth it in the end.
Right now I’m only at the beginning of the journey, but I hope that I can learn now to deal with some of the things that keep reappearing in my life. I’m willing to fight them, I want to get rid of them, now, once and for all. I know I’ll have downfalls, but I want to learn how to prepare for these, so they will not harm me in such a big way. I will fight for this, because it is worth it! 2 weeks ago
reg take my dog for a walk, have started crocheting & crafting again, decorated my apt walls 3 weeks ago
I saw a leaf falling to the ground the other day. It was incredible. I was walking to the trainstation and so something dropping in the corner of my eye. It was a leaf, it was beautiful. 3 weeks ago
I have been recording positive things for only 3-4 days now, but already I am making decisions to do things that lead to happy experiences. Positive thoughts lead to more positive actions.
Yesterday I took Ann to lunch… just because. It was awesome. Then she suckered me into shopping for groceries – which I despise. I consciously tried to have a nice time… It almost worked.
In the afternoon I was so antsy, like I’ve been getting. I want to do something, but – NOTHING.
The Feynman book I started reading last night has been inspiring. Physicists are my kind of people. 1 month ago
Great start for the year, but had a hiccup with my Appendix Removal. Thus, no exercise, two weeks of crappy sleeping and moving around, and having already accomplished a ton of goals.
Have slowly faded back into mere existence.
Must. Find. Passion. 1 month ago
as I’m stresed, depressed and feel like I’ve lost touch with the world. I’m trying to not let those things rule my life, but the harder I try the more stuck I get. I am getting help for it, but I feel it is not enough now. Maybe being more aware of my surroundings helps me get back into touch with things? Right now I eat, but don’t taste, I look but don’t see, I live but don’t feel. I often try to be more aware of my surroundings, the things I do and why I do them, but I never manage to do this for more than 5 minutes. Maybe following a course that learns me to do this in a proper way would help? 3 months ago
this one is much harder than I thought. I feel that the only way to get this to work is to go out and meet people. And while I’ve met a lot of people at school and work, I just can’t seem to connect with anyone in any kind of way; heck, I don’t even talk to them to begin with. I know this is because of my social anxiety, but it’d be neat if I could just become friends with at least one person. I feel this will open doors to so many opportunities. Oh well. Whatever happens, I won’t give up… 3 months ago
So yeah, I decided I had finished this goal, but a few videos I’ve been watching really made me wonder whether I’ve been doing it right.
|X Trips You NEED To Take In Your 20s |
|X Things You NEED To Do Before Summer Vacation Ends | 4 months ago
“C’était donc ça, être adulte. Avoir un compteur qui affiche de zéro à deux cent dix, et ne jamais faire que du soixante.”
Or, in English: “Being an adult means to have a speedometer that marks 210 and not driving over 60.” From the movie Jeux d’Enfants, my favourite movie ever.
And thankfully the car I get to drive only shows up to 180 and yes I managed to get to 180 (and over). Yes, it’s dangerous, yes, the car is shaking, yes, it makes an awful sound. But it was one of the things in life I just had to have done once. Drive as fast as the meter shows. Somehow I was expecting some magical thing to happen… nothing happened… except you don’t know how fast you are going anymore. No, the meter does not go over 180, and you cannot make it go a whole round and show up at 0 again. It just got stuck, the same as it does when you stop and it is at 0.
Maybe this means I’m not an adult, but I don’t want to be an adult. I want to do these silly kind of things in life! 4 months ago
Who feels that everyone around me is too serious? Sure, I’ve gotten to the age that people start to live together (or marry even!) and get babies, but somehow everyone is being so ‘adult’. And with that I mean that there are no spontanious shopping cart rides (what would others around think?), climbing trees (again, what would others think?), or laying in the grass for hours watching the clouds pass by (such a waste of time, could have done the household). Come on people, these are the things that make life fun, right? At least they are for me, but somehow noone wants to share them with me and doing them alone isn’t half the fun anyway.
Hmm, sometimes I feel like I’m losing it and going crazy. Not really crazy, but I feel lost somewhere inbetween being too childlike and crazy for the ‘grown-ups’ and being to normal for the really crazy psuchiatrical patients. Does anyone else feel like this? 4 months ago