ignore the commercialised coupledom of Valentine's Day and spend it celebrating singleness and self-sufficiency

I had a great time with some friends in a lovely restaurant.

but my great friends wouldn’t entirely let me!

and Mr. Lives-Down-the-Block-Sometimes-Friend came by and insisted on kissing me despite my cold, which he is probably thoroughly regretting right about now… :-o

well…

i had conversations with not one but three very cute internet guys… something i couldn’t have done in good conscience if I’d been attached. :D

i cleaned house!

listened to and danced to music in the shower… so fun.

best = i got better!

happy day to all!

I’m lucky in that I’m in a pretty good place anyway – if I was feeling low I’d probably find today would make me quite lonely. But I’m doing great. I’ve been really looking after myself the last while, which has boosted my self-esteem no end, and yesterday I did probably the single most important thing I’ve ever done for myself. So I’m on a self-sufficiency high at the moment.

In passing I’ve noticed the decorations, the girls at work getting flowers and discussing plans for the evening, the incredibly tacky and innuendo-filled V-day menu in the canteen. None of it has made me feel I’m missing out on anything in the slightest.

This evening I’m going to spend a few hours showing myself how much I love myself. There’ll be a delicious, healthy, home-cooked meal (no over-crowded, over-priced restaurants for me, thank you!); a long, indulgent shower with all my favourite bath&body treats; a gentle, uplifting yoga session; and a favourite movie with popcorn and curling up with the kitties. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Tomorrow, for sure,
Look for me at CVS
Buying cheap chocolate.

to the point that a friend* called yesterday at 7:45 pm to get together right then, and because I was doing work, I put him off till tonight… but I swear I totally forgot today was Feb. 14! I suppose I should give him the chance to bail if he needs to pay attention to the more significant other who lives in another part of the country…

And it occurs to me that I completely unconsciously threw on my red fleece this morning, probably because I wear it almost all the time anyway.

^{*there’s romantic potential there, for sure, but we’ve suffered from bad timing and missed signals for the past, oh, 7 years or so…}

I’m not bitter about love, but I can’t believe the commercialism and the importance placed on being part of a couple on that single day. A pair of diamond earrings or gold necklace A dozen red roses that will die in a few days, diamond earrings, or a mass produced card frantically bought out of a sense of obligation doesn’t express love to me.

I have no special plans for this Wednesday, and that’s okay with me! :)

I have adopted this goal from you and its fabulous....instead of gritting my teeth and seething quietly as the airwaves, newspapers, shops and glossies promote ever more cliched, dull, unimaginative and yet extremely expensive ways to prove coupledom status, I shall bask in my conscious singledom.

I am officially single again for the first time in…..dumdedumdedum….I reckon 23 years, and it feels….good. There is the obvious sadness, of course, but past that there is a sense of regrouping, of the begining of discovering who I am just as myself, not in relation or reaction to anyone else. It feels…...honest!

And so, here’s to Valentine’s Day, and the wonderful, scarey possabilities of being oneself!!