learn how to shut up

I don’t have any friends to talk to so when my Mom comes home I talk way too much. I need to shut the hell up and just not say anything. It sucks cause when I’m with new people I don’t know what to say so I say something stupid. Arrg I wish there was a backspace button in real-life.
-Also I am a really good listener, and can listen to other people but cant talk about myself without screwing up.

Someone recently gave me some food for thought by explaining why listening was more complicated than speaking, because speaking only requires that you process your own opinions and perspectives, while active listening requires you hear what is being said, understand its meaning, compare it to your own opinions and perspectives, and assess your reaction to it all at once. I need to stop just nodding and smiling.

It’s learning how to speak up, make small talk, have meaningful one on one conversations that I need to learn how to do…

sometimes i talk too much.

Those of you who know me are aware of the fact that I can talk. I can argue, I can bemoan, I can rant. A significant portion of the time, I haven’t thought it through. I’m just like a wind tunnel. A button gets pressed in the control room and it’s a steady enough stream coming from my mouth to test aerodynamics.

Just because I talk, often incessantly, doesn’t mean I have anything to say. I’m uncomfortable with silence sometimes. I have difficulty preventing myself from getting carried away in a conversation and avoid avalanching “information” or “opinion” (well-founded or not) at my conversation partner. I’m frequently incapable of listening or understanding other points of view.

I really just need to shut the hell up. It’s difficult. I wish I could say I had a strategy, but when I’m face to face with someone, I forget the whole plan and blah blah blah, out it comes. I seem to lack the filter between brain and mouth, so I really just need to shut up.

I do, indeed, need to learn to shut up, so that I can be a better listener and communicator; and to keep my mouth shut in difficult situations.

This one should be a difficult task for me!

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