stop being so judgemental

i would really like to not judge everyone so much, but i dnt much anihu, but yep. i dont think i am that judgemental. but hate people whu r tha same.

I am really trying to understand when i can be less judgmental. I am open and kind in some groups (especially places where I volunteer). But then my close friends and family I must be different. I was told by a couple of my old friends that a few years ago I was open and friendly- but that now i come off as kind of angry. Today i commented how the New Yorker was pedantic compared the NYRB, and an old friend responded “You used to be really positive about stuff. Now i just think you are kind of snide. You are trying to make me do something else by making me feel bad about my choices.” He was right! i don’t know why I am so judgmental with some people who are close to me and completely cool with everyone else. Familiarity breeds contempt? Am I just super insecure? My parents were like this. i am afraid i will just be a mean person when I get too close to someone. How can you change from being harshly critical to someone that has a sense of politeness. how to erase the harshness towards others with out becoming some sort of non thinking zombie? It’s a tough line who is someone analytic.

I think alot of this problem that alot of us have stems from society. Especially for women. We have to look at beautiful, thin, perfect hair, perfect outfits, perfect everything on billboards, on commercials, on magazines, everywhere. Society has set womens standards so high, that they are unreachable for a huge percentage of us that are “normal”. Speaking only for myself, I have unfortunately fell into that and set my own standards to high for myself. I feel Im am being not so much judged, but more compared to what we see on those billboards, and it kills my self esteem, so in turn, and in defense, I judge or “compare” others and think “well, they have “this” wrong with them, so neener neener”....What a mess….First thing I have to do is let myself know that I am me, and be happy with the way I am. I am lucky to have an awesome husband who tells me every day he sees more in me than any other “bombshell” woman could even offer. I have 3 awesome kids that tell me I am a great mom. I tell my 11 yr old daughter that she is perfect the way she is, and she does not have to live up to anyone’s standards but her own…I guess I need to take my own advice there! I cannot let my insecurities rule the way I love my life because this is the only life I have, and I will have disappointment over and over…If there is anyone who would like to get ahold of me to just talk about this, maybe we can help each other. My email is shefie1@comcast.net

I cant believe this site came up when I googled “how to stop being judgmental”. Im am so thankful that I am not alone in this. I want to change so much! I have lost friends, I have missed opportunities to make great friends. I also make judgments on everything and everyone I see! I can be in the store and see someone and immediately find something “wrong” with them. I know its my own insecurities that it stems from. Now that I have realized what I do, I need to find ways to stop doing it. I have started recently to not point out whats “wrong” but to find one thing that is complimentary to the other person, and my next step is to go to that person and TELL them. Im hoping I can do this. Its hard for my mind to switch gears like that, but I am determined to change this about me, so Im hoping it will get easier…

I feel that I’d be a happier person if I saw other people in a more positive light. Not only because I’ll stop having negative thoughts be as big a part of my daily routine, but because I’ll stop being so nervous of what other people are thinking about me. I always have the thoughts when I’m in public that someone thinks something about me is ugly or stupid and I’m assuming that if those thoughts weren’t part of my day to begin with, they wouldn’t come back to haunt me.

hey people this is definitly a worthy goal. i was very judgemental-always. but i worked hard to not be and now i’m alot more open minded and i have alot more friends

This is so hard sometimes… I’ve got to keep on working on this one!

I have too high of expectations for myself, and those around me. When my expectations are failed to be met, I am disappointed and judge unfairly. Its a big struggle but I know that through God’s grace and wisdom I can overcome this bondage!

I am going stop forming my own (unqualified at times!) opinions about people. I dislike this about me very much, so by being more happy within myself and not holding a grudge (which I am very good at doing, might I add!) I will be more friendly, approachable and be more tollerant xX

judging ppl as we all kno is only for those with a gravel but i cant help it…being this way kills me…instead of making friends i tlk to the same ppl always…i sit there tryn to get courage after i judge them on how they may judge me…the real problem i think…is that i think too much…