fully accept myself

i thought i had it in the bag about a week ago. for some reason, i felt pretty self-confident and i was very accepting of myself, flaws and all. it was great to be able to see myself in such a positive light, without belittling or putting myself down.

however, that all changed this past weekend. a very small and insignificant thing happened, but it was enough to get me down. gone were the feelings of self-acceptance, replaced by confusion and inner turmoil. at least i wasn’t completely hating myself again.

i’ve still got a long way to go.

So, at 21, I’m finally going to counseling about this. I’ve been battling it for years, this not being able to look in the mirror without finding something wrong outwardly and internally. I mentally beat myself up. I’ve decided it’s time to let it go and put it in the past. If I can’t fully love myself, I won’t live fully. And that’s something I can’t stand the thought of. So, I’ve taken the first, and most important, step of true self love, and that is reaching out for help and guidance. I’m looking forward to where this journey will lead me. Perhaps, with higher self esteem, I will allow myself to do all the things I’ve always dreamed of.