eat a more balanced diet

until the stress spiraled out of control and I started losing weight…once I hit a certain point, it seems like I drop weight no matter what I do. (Even with no exercise whatsoever…been working too much for that.) Jeans I bought two weeks ago are baggy in the butt. Being rather J Lo-proportioned, it’s nigh inconceivable for me to have baggy-butt pants. Time for drastic measures.

So for the past week or so, it’s been high-calorie, high-fat, high-taste food…with little to no nutritional value. Nice every once in a while, but I’m starting to feel a bit bleh from all the junk. I did, however, regain 3 of the pounds I lost. (Okay, so it could be water weight, but I’d rather think otherwise.)

So tomorrow (or Thursday, if I end up back in the tire store tomorrow…thanks, roofers) I will go to the grocery store and buy some better food. And cook it, and eat it.

I’ve just stocked up on organic goodies…soups and frozen dinners and yogurt (would have gotten cottage, too, but all they had expires in a week) and cereal.

Actually, the cereal sounds good. Might have that for dinner, with some yogurt. (And if it sucks, I’ll have almonds with my yogurt.)

No, not the emotional kind. The eating-almost-entirely-junk kind. I have not cooked since last weekend…instead, I’ve been living on party mix and sandwiches. (With party mix. The sandwich just legitimizes the party mix by making it a side item.)

And tonight, pizza. And cheese sticks. Not that I begrudge myself these things, but I really need to work some veggies in somewhere.

So I’ve decided that, for the new year, I’m going to do better. Eat more from-scratch foods, more fresh veggies – maybe even some fruit. (I said maybe.)

Next, I need to find some good rice recipes. I can eat steamed veggies and rice every day of the week if I can make the rice taste good. And I’m so burned out on the box mixes. It’d be cheaper and better for me if I made my own rice side dishes.

I also got a great idea today, from – of all places – ThinkGeek: Making my own peanut butter. They have a $40 machine that’ll do it for you. Pish. I have a blender, and the internet. I’ve gathered a handful of recipes to try…as soon as I use up the jar of peanut butter I just bought.

Heck, I might even try cutting out wheat for a month…I just need to figure out how I can do that and still eat bread. (I cannot imagine life without bread.)

But until January, I’m going to stick with my junk food. The funk just fuels my motivation to eat like a grown-up.

Atkins supporters say what you will: Nothing, but nothing makes a bowl of vegetable soup taste better than a homemade mini-loaf of bread. Soft, chewy, crust…tender, buttery middle…mmm.

Damn, I can cook.

_{Ok, so bread isn’t as high on my list of must-eat foods as veggies…my life would still be empty without it.}

Today I made vegetable soup, vegetable stew, and four mini pot pies. I also made up a batch of pizza dough; R and I made a pizza with half of it, and I froze the other half. This week, I plan to make up more pizza dough (I’m thinking homemade pizza for Mom’s birthday celebration; also, I want to make up a batch of calzones for the freezer), plus some rolls and biscuits for freezing (they’ll go nicely with the soup and stew). Everything is made completely from scratch—fresh veggies and all. Time consuming, but judging by the pot pie I made last night, very worth it.

For lunch this week, I mixed up some cottage cheese sandwich filling – cottage, carrots, celery, chives, horseradish sauce, and yogurt. I’ll eat it on toast instead of my usual peanut butter sandwich. So I’ll get my protein, plus dairy and veggies.

My fridge is astonished, but pleased.

Make my own frozen dinners. Not just soups and sauces, but individual portions of stuff that makes way too much and takes for-freaking-ever: pot pie, pizza, stew, stuff like that. I can make up big batches, freeze in individual portions, and always have food on hand. I could even send some home with R.

Now I just need food. Which won’t happen until payday. But I have researched freezing tips.

I read the most wonderful quote in a book last night:

“It is vital to know why you are doing what you do. They why will motivate the work. The secret of discipline is motivation. When one is sufficiently motivated, discipline will take care of itself.”

That makes a lot of sense to me. I need to concentrate on the “why.” Why do I want to eat a more balanced diet? Well, here’s the list:

1. I have diabetes, and if I don’t eat better, it will kill me.
2. Diabetes causes blindness, kidney failure, amputations, and heart attacks.
3. If I eat a balanced diet, I will be able to control the diabetes.
4. If I eat a balanced diet, I will lose weight.
5. If I eat a balanced diet, I will have more energy and feel better.
6. If I eat a balanced diet, I will live longer.
7. If I live longer, I will be able to see my grandchildren grow up.
8. If I eat a balanced diet, I will not only live longer, but be able to do more in old age.
9. If I feel better, I will be able to do all the things I want.
10. I will be able to travel, to learn, to garden, to dance, and to enjoy my friends and family.

Wow! I think I’m finally motivated!

I am diabetic, and I can’t seem to eat the way I’m supposed to. I start out well in the morning, but by dinner time I am wanting to munch on things that I used to eat before this awful disease hit me. I know what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to balance my carbs with protein and fat. I can eat sweets, but not often, and I have to balance it with a protein, and to add cheese to a piece of cake is just plain yucky! Another thing is that I have to eat regularly, which is difficult for me because I don’t get hungry, and I hate to eat when I’m not hungry. However, this is a matter of life and death for me. If I don’t do it, I can lose my eyesight, lose my limbs, lose my kidney function, have a heart attack, and lose my life. I really want to live. I want to watch my grandchildren grow up. I want to be able to play with them. I want to be healthy. This is one of the most important things I need to do right now.

Just got back from my annual exam. Last year, my cholesterol was 138. This year, it was 116. I really do think my cholesterol level is directly proportionate to the amount of meals I eat in restaurants. Last year, I was eating out at least one night a week. Lately, I’m eating out maybe once or twice a month. (Though I do still get pizza fairly regularly, I’ve been leaning towards the kind in the freezer case or making it myself.)

I’ve also been taking it easy on the chips and eating more almonds. I still get my crunchy snack, with way less bad fat and no salt (I prefer the unsalted almonds).

So I guess I am eating pretty well. Now I just need to work on eating more fresh food.

I eat mixed veggies in a lot of things – pot pie, casseroles, or just stirred into rice. On their own, though…ick. The canned ones are mostly carrots, the frozen mostly rubbery green beans (and lima beans…I hate lima beans).

Tonight, I discovered the secret to making me eat them: put them on a baked potato. With a little butter (well, olive oil spread), salt, and Mural of Flavor from Penzey’s, they were quite tasty.

Someday, I’d like to try fresh mixed veggies. I bet I’d like them on their own.