stop hearing what i want to hear but rather what is being said

I am really terrible at this. I am almost embarrassed to admit it but it is true. My worst fear is that it is evidence of my self obsessed nature but I don’t think that is wholly true. I kow it is not through lack of interest because I am. I swear it!

But, the fact remains that my listening skills is very poor. People call me to it all the time. They drag my attention to this lapse of my own attention! But even though I can hear voices sometimes what they are saying doesn’t always register. Maybe instead of not paying attnetion what I am actually do is being over-attentive but singularly directed.

For example, I am talking to a person and I become fixated, okay maybe that is a tad generous, I become engrossed by the manner in which they are interacting, not just with me but also with their enviroment that I am much more interested in this aspect of their character and the way they are ‘being’.

Almost studying their natural act that their words become secondary impulses. So in my mitigation I am fully engaged but not in the right mode. I need to tweak my motherboard :p

I was watching something random on TV as you do last night. some sexpert programme. most likely on ch.5 or maybe 4. Anyway, the small point that i grasped from viewing is that when we talk we are more likely to make eye contact than when we are listening. Making eye contact is as necessary whilst listening as that is what helps with listening and info digesting. so, i am going to try it for a while and see how i go. apart from whilst on the phone that is!