stop sweating the small stuff

I always try to picture my geriatric-self saying “Believe me hun, it won’t matter when you get to my age! So, in the mean time, move on and do something I want to tell me grandkids about! K?”

Since I always get this one wrong, let’s break it down further:
1. Stop getting annoyed at inconsequential actions of others
2. Stop judging people when you don’t know them. Remind yourself of those friends whom you didn’t like when you first met them
3. Small setbacks (like arguements, a bad review, etc) at work mean nothing when you know you’re doing well overall
4. Stop taking yourself so seriously
5. Every random person’s opinion on your behaviour/attire/work should not demand your attention

I need to live in the present moment – look on the bright side – see the positive side of things – be grateful for amazing life I live.

All that jazz.

I guess I have a tendency to allow quite little worries (on the scale of things) to become much bigger than they should…

When little things feel like the end of the world, I want to be able to stop and remember just how trivial they are – and to remind myself of all the things for which I am grateful.

It’s all in the mind, I think. It helps to surround yourself with supportive people and people who are positive about life. They don’t have to be all peppy and cheery but at least, not negative about life.

I have depression so I think this made it extra hard to for me to let go of certain things. But as time goes on, and the more I try, the easier it gets to just “let go” of things that I shouldn’t let bother me.

I still have my off days and those suck but they’re less and less. I used to get bad days at least every other day, if not more, and over the years, I’d say I’m doing very well. This semester has been THE best. Some weeks, I have NO bad days and sometimes I do, but I get over them quicker too. :)

Yay!

If I could stop doing this to myself I wouldn’t have so many worries in my life! I really think that this ties into my other goal of wanting to be more patient with my children. If I didn’t sweat the small stuff I wouldn’t bitch so much! For instance, It bothers me when my son loses a peice to one of his games or a toy. It’s only a toy and he’s only 4!!!

I really need to step back more often and look at the big picture. I’m the kind of person who sees details, small bits and pieces of things. There can be this huge piece of something and the only thing I can see is a small mistake or hurt, magnified thousands of times. Sort of like when you zoom in on something in Photoshop and all you can see is one distorted piece of the corner or whatever. I need to “view actual size” more often. I know that’s a completely stupid metaphor, but I can’t explain it any other way. I wish I could draw it or map it or something, so I could refer to it more often.

After having a fight with my parents a few weeks back, my mom suggested that it might help me to talk to my grandfather. He lives a ways out in the country, so I don’t see him too often. But I went out to talk to him, and I’m really glad I did.
He gave me a bit of advice about not stressing. I’m not sure if I can explain it properly, but he pretty much said that I have to make myself realize that so much of what I worry about just isn’t significant. He says that to put things in perspective, he sometimes imagines himself in space- slowy drifting away from the earth until everything is essentially gone- and he can realize how little all those little problems matter in the scheme of things.
My best friend Ben has always tried to explain that to me… only when he tells me, he just says “You just can’t care about shit.” My grandfather’s explanation was a lot more in depth, but it helped me realize what Ben meant.
I’ve always had issues with the little things- like when people do things that bother me, I feel the need to let them know. Either by telling them, or letting it show that I don’t like it, I’ve always felt the need. I guess my rationality was that it might help them fix themselves, or something… which is silly, because now I see that I’m the one that’s needed fixing. It’s hard to explain, but it feels almost as if I’m final realizing that not everyone has the same perceptions I’ve always had of people- and that I’ve just been projecting my ways onto others, assuming that they’re the same. It’s weird to think that I’ve been the one that’s been mistaken all this time. hm.
Anyway. It’s been just two weeks since I’ve gotten all of this figured out, and I feel like I’m a better person already. I’m afraid to think that going back to school may trigger another down-slide, because school’s always had that effect on me. Every summer things seem to fix themselves, but high school always seems to reverse all the good I’ve done. x_x
One thing’s for sure, though: I’m going out to see my grandpa Max at least once a month from now on.

Today I had a craving. I went to satisfy the craving and when I got back to the office realized my order was wrong. Craving not satisfied. Unhappy, but not raging pissed. Progress.