find my niche

finding my niche in life… I believe… has been more about the journey than the destination. I think my niche may in fact be sharing the little pieces of myself that I have given to every person that has entered my life. My niche may be sharing little things, a smile, a hug, appreciation, gratefulness. I think my niche is a big niche disguised as a little niche. ;)

I like doing things my way. In college when all my friends when out to bars, I stayed home because I didn’t want to go. I didn’t care that everyone was going… I wasn’t willing to do something I had no desire to do. I went when I wanted to and I had fun. No problem.

Now, I live in a new city and I’ve realized that being that kind of girl doesn’t help you find many friends. Thing is – I don’t want those kind of people as friends (the ones that only go out…). Sadly right now my niche is a small circle of people who I fit in with but we all live in different parts of the country.

I know there is a place for me here… I just can’t find it.

So, Its no surprise to anyone that knows me… Ive been trying to “re-find” and/or “re-define myself” since I had my son almost 4 yrs ago (God, that’s one scary admission).

I am a very independant lady by nature. I enjoy having something “of my own” (call me selfish), I enjoy having “Mad money” (call me greedy), I enjoy “piece of mind” (call me crazy).

When I found out I was having my son, I had no intentions of EVER being a stay at home mom or sacrificing my own ambitions, I didnt think being a mom should mean having to give up your own identity, and thats who I was- an ambitious, goal oriented, sky is the limit kinda workin gal….. well that was before I knew what “mommy guilt” was.

So I first tried to compromise with “ok ill leave the big city and find something close to home- doesn’t matter what it is. I can be sucessful at ANYTHING!”...

Then after realizing I left my very (to me) fun & interesting job in Radio Advertising for the most BORING job in the world, working for the local YELLOW PAGES, I said “Ok… maybe theres something thats still not TOO far, but a little more in the relm of fast paced fun I was use to…. HEY! I always wanted to try Public Relations!”

And then realized “HOLY SH!T These people are psychotic.” Besides the Catastrophy of an account I was working on with a team of HIGH strung management, being chained to a blackberry no matter when or where & being expected to respond to 3am emails is just not something I can do with a child waking me up every 2 hours!”

Maybe I should try something else, “Marketing Make-up?” I can do that! ... o wait! “This is a chemical manufacturing company? you mean Im marketing the chemicals that make the make-up?? Say whaaaa? Who signed me up for this SNOOZE FEST?? “

Until finally, A LAS I “SURRENDERED” to being a stay at home mom. I didnt feel any of these moves were worth all the time away from my son who would cry every morning I dropped him off at Day care… and being home with her child is the best thing a mother could do …. right? Plus, we wanted to have another baby real soon! So not working while feeling like a beached whale sounded like a good added perk as well.

Fast forward… here I am .. out of work for 1 year.. and losing my mind by the day.
I love my children, I feel blessed to be home with them… however, I do not feel whole. There’s a part of me that is missing, and its the part that really defines who I am… I know I am so much more than just a mother of 2. (not that being a mother of 2 is not a whole lot of fulfillment, its just not what I feel DEFINES me.)

I’ve tried direct selling with BeautiControl, and while that brought in good money for a while and it was flexible. After a few “rotten egg” clients with complaints and criticisms I had no answers for, I started to feel like a slimy sales person… ew.

So this year I want to REALLY find it. That one thing, that doesnt necessarily make me a millionare, or even 20K a year.. but makes me, uniquely ME. Something all of my own that I and only I am expert at doing.

Stay tuned tomorrow for ideas I’ve had…. and believe me Ive had a lot.

Everyone around me seems to have their thing. I don’t. I’ve never had one hobby or interest that stood out beyond all others. I need to find what I’m good at and what I love to do.

I pick up and try doing everything I can get my hands on, but it’s just a fleeting desire to do them. I never want to stick with anything other than Photography.

I think that I am at a point now where I need to find the thing I want to do, the person I want to be with, and the person that I am. I want to be happy, and I think that this is a good avenue towards that goal.

Also, I think the sponsored ads on the side are rather funny, under the actual context of this goal.

Looking For A Niche?
Find profitable Niche Markets usind the Niche Inspector Software!

LOL. I don’t think any of us are looking for the kind of niche that has a market.

I wonder if I’m going to find my niche….I’ve been looking, sampling as many things possible….is ones’ niche what they want to do…? what they’re meant to do? I think it’s going to what I’m best at…..but what will that be…? here’s to hoping I find out one day…

often times I just forget where it is.