finish answering my 100 questions (idea from "The Question that Longed to Be Lived" article)

The simplest questions are the most profound. Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in a while and watch your answers change. ~Richard Bach

hey yeaah! this is cool. I will start :)

1. Why am I here?
2. What do I want?
3. Why am I so afraid?
4. Why do I feel like I am hiding a devastating secret?
5. Who am I?
6. What are my unique gifts and talents?
7. Do people like me?
8. How can I project my true self with people?
9. Why don’t people talk to me after the first couple dates?
10. Will I ever made a living?
11. Why do I have so much trouble being my own person?
12. Why do I care so much about what my mom thinks?
13. How can I separate from my mom?
14. Am I a good mother?
15. How can I be a better mother?
16. What is it I’m looking for?
17. Why is my self-esteem so shaky?
18. Why am I afraid of everything?
19. Why do I get so stuck?
20. Why do I get paralyzed in my actions?
21. Why can’t I forget about time?
22. Why does it seem like life is so easy for everyone else?
23. What is wrong with me?
24. Why am I obsessive?
25. Why can’t I finish things?
26. Why do I always feel the need to work on myself?
27. Why can’t I be still and silent?
28. Why am I depressed?
29. What is it that really excites me and inspires me?
30. Can I balance what I want and what I should do?
31. What does my ideal life as I can live it right now look like?
32. What do I need to do to put it into motion?
33. What are the biggest things that are holding me back?
34. What do I need to stop doing?
35. What do I need to start doing?
36. Do I need medication?
37. Do I need to meditate?
38. Can I do all the things I want to do, or just some?
39. Are all of my goals really things I want, or just things I think I should do?
40. What is the single biggest action I can take right now to improve my life?
41. How different am I from other people, really?
42. What are my weaknesses?
43. Do I have any superior talents?
44. Can I be a psychic if I work at it, or do I not have that gift?
45. Is my Goddess true?
46. Why do I overeat?
47. Why do I have so much clutter?
48. Why can’t I keep the house clean?
49. Was Stephen my soul mate?
50. Why am I overweight?
51. What is spirituality to me?
52. Why can’t I take the action steps I want after I identify what I want to do?
53. Why do I have compulsive movements and habits?
54. Why am I so bad with money?
55. How do I feel about being a mother?
56. Do I have faith that I will actually accomplish my goals?
57. Why do I look up to certain people as if they are Gods?
58. Why am I always running and hurrying?
59. Why do I waste my time with tv?
60. Why do I fight with my mom?
61. Why am I so suggestible?
62. How can I fill my love tank on my own?
63. What are the small steps I can take every day to get my life on track?
64. What sensory experiences do I need to experience consistently?
65. Do I overextend myself?
66. Am I too hard on myself?
67. Do I take things too personally?
68. How can I gain courage?
69. How can I get support from friends and family?
70. How can I live the way I want without lists and time limits?
71. How can I get rid of my feelings of “wasting time” if I am not “productive”?
72. How much sleep is really right for me?
73. What diet works for me?
74. Who do I listen to as authorities?
75. When I think of the things I “should do”, who is it that I am listening to?
76. Can I do the things I want to do without feeling tired and overburdened?
77. How can I get more energy?
78. What is the hard decision that I am avoiding making?
79. What do I admire in others that I have in myself, but I won’t let out?
80. Where is my secret reservoir of hope?
81. How do I hear the source of God in myself?
82. What are my most monumental achievements?
83. What do I put down in myself?
84. What do I need to learn the most?
85. What past lives have I lived that are still affecting me?
86. How can I make needed space in my life?
87. What am I holding back?
88. What is my secret to success?
89. What in society has set me up to be this way?
90. What family heritage am I not living up to?
91. How can I bring more of my cultural heritage into my life?
92. What do I need to let go of?
93. What mental problems do I actually have?
94. What is totally unique to only me?
95. What do I need from others?
96. What did I not get from my family?
97. What am I uncertain about?
98. What do I blow out of proportion?
99. What way do I actually want to live, and what do I need to throw out?
100. Where is my hidden beauty?

This sounds great! I’m excited and will start now. :)

i give up on this. like i said before, it sounded like a good idea at the time, but i don’t think i want to do this goal anymore. sure, these questions all deserve to be answered, and they should be answered, but coming up with 100 questions just seems too daunting. i may at some point get to 100 questions, but i just don’t want a goal staring me in the face about it right now.

16. what would make me really happy right now?

i can’t give up that easily.

6. what do i want to do with the rest of my life?
7. what is my “true calling?” that is, what kind of career would i enjoy, thrive at, and be successful in?
8. why do i let myself get so pissed off?
9. why do i have this weird thing about having people over or going over to other people’s houses?
10. when will i stop being jealous of my friends’ success?
11. why don’t i think that my friends are happy and proud of me?
12. where do i want to be in 5 years? 10 years? 15, etc…?
13. where did my sex drive go?
14. how i can keep from getting so bored all the time?
15. what is it with the goal “kiss in the rain?” this is obviously more of a question for other people to answer, but i’m curious nonetheless.

but come on, 100 questions? i think it appealed to me because there were at least a handful of questions i knew i wanted answered. i’ve only come up with five, and i’ve answered them, and now i’m kinda at a standstill. while on the one hand, it would make sense to give up on this goal because i doubt i’ll get to 100. at the same time, i’ve accomplished what i needed and wanted to accomplish that was related to this goal, so in a way, it’s completed. hmm..

the fact is, i can’t think of one actual good reason to wait to so anything. with the possible exception of being over-extended money-wise, there really isn’t a good reason to wait to do any of the stuff i want to do.

fear of commitment. the last thing i want to do is decide on something that ends up not being right for me. then i could find myself stuck in a situation where i’m unhappy and want out. if i get out, then i give up on something else. that’s one more thing i won’t finish. also, how will i truly know if i dislike something unless i give it a chance? and how long should it take to figure that out?