write like no one's reading

when i need to. just because i don’t always need to doesn’t mean i’m a failure.

i consider this goal COMPLETE!

my previous entry basically explains my view about “the small stuff”—i treat problems every mortal has like they don’t count… and i really do feel that way. i feel ridiculous sweating “the small stuff” but the fact that i DO sweat it shows that it does mean something to me, deep down… so why not write it? that’s something i’m working on now… the big issues are coming out easier now, now i gotta tackle the small things.

I haven’t written in my journal a whole lot, but I’m doing much better on writing like no one’s reading. It seems like whenever I do journal that I always remember that I want to be more honest with myself and it’s good to have that in my head before I start writing.
Looking back on the past few entries is cool because I can see that I’m being more honest about things. A lot of times when I used to look back on old entries, I’d remember that I didn’t really feel exactly the way I’d written I’d been feeling. So, that’s progress.

i DID censor myself a little but only when i started to babble about things of no consequence. the whole point of writing like no one is reading is to cultivate appreciation of the important—and often awkward—issues in my life instead of sweeping them under the rug. if i put the important stuff in with the crap, the important stuff seems watered down too and that’s the last thing i want happening, you know?

i wrote up a storm, though. it felt really good.

fact:
opening dialogues with myself has ALWAYS led to some sort of revelation, some profundity.

fact:
if i can’t be honest with myself on paper, i will never be able to live honestly.

I have the hardest time doing this in my private journal. I know that I’m the only one that ever reads it but I still can’t bring myself to tell the complete truth in it. I don’t know why, exactly. Part of it is that the truth is sometimes embarrassing or just too depressing. There are just so many times that I wish I’d written down exactly how I felt at the time instead of glossing over my feelings and painting them in broad, vague strokes.
I think I’ll start slowly with this goal. Tell a few of the little things to my journal that I normally wouldn’t confess to and work up to the larger truths.