stop crying

But i feel emotionless at times. The other day i did break down, i was at home, just thinking and began to cry. Had never felt so alone. I don’t know why i did this – I’ve met the most amazing boy, but why do i still feel alone?

I don’t think I should have to feel bad about having emotion but everyone seems to think I should.

i didnt make the cheer team at my school.
its not as big of a deal as other entries…
but i have been crying for over an hour now.
my eyes are red and puffy…
how do i make it look like im happy?
and happy for my friends that did make it?

HELP ME!

i always cry at the worst times!!

For several weeks now, I’ve been crying at least once a day. Not some plain tears, but deep heaving sobs. This usually lasts for 30-45 minutes.

I’ve been battling depression for about 9 years now, and I’ve had crying periods before, but I could usually identify some reason why. This time, there doesn’t seem to be a specific reason – just profound sadness.

I’ve been through all of the things that they say are supposed to help depression, but nothing really seems to work. I’ve been to countless therapist, Doctors, and been on every medication you can think of. I exercise regularly, try to eat right, keep myself busy, make a point of spending time with friends, etc, but nothing seems to relieve that inner sadness.

the 3rd anniversary of the passing of my best friend, my cat. i dreamt about her last night, and her sister, who is also gone. i miss them both, and could cry at the thought of getting just one more day.

i haven’t cried in days!
i have been working out at the gym, and it is really helping me get in a better frame of mind…..

yesterday. but they were tears of joy.
but still, people saw me cry, and i feel way too emotional. i hate that part about me. that i cry for sadness, i cry for happiness. i just cry.
i want to cry now.

i heard a song that reminded me of my best friend, who died almost 2 years ago. i miss her.

So, I’ve known for some time that I cry way too easily, and at some of the oddest times. I absolutely hate it. The other day I cried during a job interview!!! I was feeling relieved (I think) because I had told the interviewer that I had another job prospect to look into before I made a decision, and she was so open to that. She started saying how we could just take it day-by-day, and see if my working for her was good for me. I don’t know why, but I could feel my eyes getting hot, then she was all saying how she’s emotional, too, and how she liked that about me. Empathy is the last thing I need when these unexpected episodes come on. So, then tears came spilling out. HOW embarring is THAT??!! I need to learn what these triggers are and how to control tears. Please if anyone has any good tricks, let me know.
I tend to cry most when I speak from my heart, when I feel that someone is complimenting me from their heart, when I am relieved, AND the big one that really sux…when I’m making too much eye contact!! Intense eye contact makes me really uncomfortable.