get over my crush

i have a thing for boys who are musos. So here’s the story (not that it’s overly interesting); we’re in the school band together, we play the same instrument, he’s beautiful. Every time he came near me i would freeze and melt simultaneously. I had to concentrate really hard on what he was saying so as not to let my mind drift off thinking about how cute he was. And then he got a girlfriend. She’s beautiful and an amazing musician. She came to our band recital and he was so happy and excited and it pretty much crushed me. so i have to get over him because, it’s never going to happen. as soon as i get about 90% over him he’ll say something or do something that just makes me fall straight back to where i was. but i’m trying to get over him, i am.

halloween I saw him and we kissed! it was really sweet, and really drunken at the same time but faithful nontheless.

what is it about young men? call me a pedophile I call it lucky.

hes popular… and im not…
I like this guy but i really want to get over him
every time i am 94% over him…either my teacher makes me switch seats and sit next to him or either im doing a presentation and he asks me a question. Every time i see him, he makes me feel self conscious and dizzy. I hate that kind of feeling. I cant concentrate in class without not hearing his adorable voice talking. All the girls shower him with love and he’s really never with any guys because the girls take him away. I feel pretty stupid for liking him. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I LIKE HIM!! I try to list all the possible reasons why he is bad but then when i think of that cute little face, my head is dizzy. I’m always hot in history when hes next to me and my whole body starts to heat up. I HATE HAVING A CRUSH!!! WHY CANT I HAVE A CRUSH THAT I CAN ACTUALLY TALK TO?????

crushing again!

is this horrible or what?

and to be honest I’m not sure if this should really be categorized as a crush or not. I thought crushes were brief, temporary moments of inspired passion, but this “crush” has been killing me! This person is killing me! I see them everywhere I go! at the store, at school, in my sleep. Die crush die! I can’t help but get excited when I see this person and it has come to the point where it has become impossible to hide my feelings anymore! I blush and smile and feel so happy happy. I call them or text them and beg beg beg for attention.

If a certain someone who is currently involved in my life is to read this and think that I am talking about “MAX” no I’m not. No love crush there. trust me.

Just thought I would clear the air there.

Phew! Anyhow…

I guess from what I described above one can say that it may be a variety of individuals. It really could be anyone but their name shall not be revealed because I would be so embarrassed. And this person who I have so deeply fallen for, i mean shallowly fallen for, will be a long term “goal.” It makes the chase that much more fun right? Because I feel in my heart that they are so right.

BUT

I am scared. What if I actually capture my crush and then they don’t seem as appealing anymore? What if all the expectations I have set for this person can never be met? I don’t want that

HENCE WHY MY GOAL IS TO “GET OVER MY CRUSH!!”“

I think it’s starting to fade…I still can’t resist flirting with him, and he has started to be very touchy-feely with me too….but I don’t feel the heartache that I did a couple of days ago, and I’m leaving the country today for 2 weeks; he should be gone by the time I get home, so I reckon it will fade pleasantly into the dust. I think I will always have a soft spot for him, but enough. Things were tense with me and my husband the last 10 days, but we had a good chat last night and cleared the air, thankfully before I travel….so things are looking better and calming down.

I think I have kind of an addictive personality – I have been playing with this guy in my band for weeks and now that the gigs are about over, I’m going through severe withdrawal symptoms. The same guy had the same effect on my about 3 years ago. I think the best thing is to spend loads of time with other friends and just take my mind off him, because if I keep obsessing it could be seriously damaging to my marriage, and I am NOT going down that road again.

A little while ago at work we (the girls) were talking about who we thought were hot coworkers and such. I so bluntly stated that I had a crush on YOU KNOW THAT CRUSH! And that I found him attractive but thought he was wayyyy too old for me. Apparently that made it’s way around to him

Here is how I found out that he knows that I have a crush on him.

Sunday Morning I was working with a gay coworker friend when he confronted me about a “crush” issue. Apparently my crush and gay coworker were at a bar and my crush told him that he knew I had a crush on him.. Hope you caught all of that.

Anyhow I feel totally mortified. And apparently, word is getting around! because I have been confronted about the issue on several occasions since. I told them all no way jose and what not but like idk. I still obviously do of course! I feel so embarrassed because I don’t want to have this crush. I’ll get over it soon. I know i will. I have to.

You know what’s more fun than having an unwanted crush? Having an unwanted crush on someone who does not sincerely want you back. It’s a pain in the ass trying to deal with all of these mixed feelings. Making long term plans to be with this person and failing. Giving myself a two year limit in a lame attempt to fulfill my emptiness. I can’t sleep like I used to. I don’t want all of these stupid feelings that won’t mean anything in the end. I am very tired of playing with love, teasing it and letting it get to my head. I need something concrete and stupid crushes won’t lead to that intense feeling of deep affection I so foolishly crave.

For some reason or another, I feel I must share this with someone. A couple years ago a person from work left. I felt very sad that I never said goodbye and that is probably why I still have feelings for this person today. Anyhow, he is back at the place I work and I cannot stop thinking about him. I have a boyfriend now, but for some reason or another, it’s like that doesn’t even matter anymore. This “crush” is significantly older than me but seems so sincere. I can’t say I know much about him or even talk to him very often but I can’t help myself but blush when I say hi or silly things like that. I feel so doltish or childish for having this crush. There must be some way to get rid of it? For God’s sake I cannot live with this crush for I see him at work all the time and it would be lame to attempt anything that suggests I am remotely interested in him. Help?

btw

-I think he might be gay. I am not sure if I am just telling this to myself to help me get over him or if there is a great truth to this statement. Probably gay? yeah definetly probably most likely gay…

So my story goes like this: I had this huge crush on this guy 15 years ago, we became quite close doing a video project together back then. Close to the point that our friends pointed out that he treated me differently and his girlfriend told me she didn’t feel that they were really dating.

This guy was very popular among girls, and you could see 9 out of 10 girls interested in him from the way they stared at him. He is very nice but he really hates this kind of attentions. Anyway he started dating this girl friend of mine around the time we did the video.

So like most of the wise people, I cut them off right after the project, stopped seeing them and moved on.

We had no contact until last year when he tried to reconnect with everybody who were involved in the project since he has digitalized the video, and wanted to give it to the team. Took me quite a while to decide to talk to him again (he asked my other friends my whereabout). So we started writing to each other. Everything was about the video, and his views on adult life.

We met briefly to hand over the dvds, and after I watched it I felt all the emotions of this old time crush just came back to me. I had to write so carefully not to show it in the messages. To make things worse I started googling him and managed to find his blog.

Since I start obsessed with his blogs, that period was really painful for me. My husband was away for 2 months and I was online all the time for work. Writing to each other almost every night and refreshing mailbox every 5 mins, with both never mentioned about our other halves in the emails are not a good sign. Although nothing really happened, I need to stop it.

So I wrote an email to him telling him that I have been googling him and looking things up, but I wanted to stop it so by confessing it to him it might help me to quit. I think making myself not an anonymous “stalker” really helped.

Since I also mentioned I was also googling another friend of mine he didn’t take it as a confession of love. I guess friendship is not ruined, and it also acts as a conversation wrap up.

I’m just so happy that I did that so I stop driving myself crazy. I’m still thinking about him a lot (really an infatuation) but definitely no more fantacising. Now I just need to totally get over him and I’m planning to break things down in small steps so i can achieve things little by little.