Today I learned how to do integrals (they’re basically just backwards derivatives or antiderivatives), and then we went on to figure out how to do integration using U-Substitution and how to find the integrals of trig functions. I am excited, because my brother told me that some of the material that we went over was Calculus II material!

When I first endeavored to learn calculus, I was scared because I thought that it would be difficult and that I might not be able to do it. But I’ve found that once I get past that ridiculous fear to not automatically succeed at everything I do, then Calculus wasn’t so hard. I still have to remind myself of the rules sometimes, but I know how to do Calculus now. And it’s all because I 1. had an amazing teacher in my brother and 2. because I DARED TO SUCK. Daring to suck is wonderful, because it means that you are trying! It has been scientifically proven that it is exponentially better to try and suck than to never try at all.

I didn’t let the looming fear of failing at Calculus stop me from learning it. I built it up so much in my mind as an imposing figure, but like all imposing figures, once you understand it a little better, it’s less scary and more beautiful.

I might check this off my list soon, maybe after a few more lessons or maybe after this entry. We’ll see. But I am so proud of myself. I can do anything that I put my mind to. I might suck at it at first, but I will become better over time with practice. We have such little time on this Earth, why spend it being afraid when there are so many wonderful things to learn and do!? 5 months ago

Mathematical mind at the back of the room
Quiet and thoughtful unless one knows you well
Time unveils your sense of humor
Oh, you can be a pain in the derriere
But so can I
But so can I
My magical, magnificent, maestro of math
teaching me calculus during summer break—your one grasp for freedom
Talented and kind in the shadows you hide
Well not really, but some people doubt you exist
Lucky am I to know the flower that blooms in the dark
You don’t like being compared to a flower?
....
Fine
Fine…
Lucky am I to see a masked hero hidden in daylight among the cracked cement sidewalks where lurkers loom and bicycles dash past
Lucky am I to see the exquisite quasar off in the distance that few have seen
Lucky am I to see inside of your brain to glimpse who you are
Lucky am I to know you
Thank you
Thank you
Just for being you

I’m learning so much! I’m so greatful to my brother for teaching me and so proud of him! I cannot wait to be able to check this off of my list. :) 10 months ago

Back in high school our teacher wasn’t the best and I guess I ended up getting a mental block about it all. I need to re-learn what I forgot and learn what I never got to fully retain. Calculus doesn’t really have much to do with my career, but I want to be able to say I can deal with Calculus just for the heck of it and to feel better about myself, lol. 22 months ago

This has been one of the many objectives I keep putting off until the last minute. For once and for all, I have to move forward and reach this milestone. What has always prevented me from getting the most of my classes is over-complicating (my own fault) the material. I must keep things simple in the beginning. 23 months ago

Khan Academy is arguably one of the best resources out there. I recommend anyone trying to tackle this goal, start there. Personally, I’m still on trigonometry but I’m slowly working my way up. 2 years ago