find a good therapist

I moved to MI about a year and a half ago and I still haven’t found a therapist that I can really work with. The first one I had here went out for knee surgery but she was awful anyway. She was doped up on pain meds and just kind of sat there and co-miserated with me and gave me more fuel to hate this god forsaen place. The next one I started seeing was awesome. He challenged me and we were really making some serious progress but he left and went to work at Catholic Social Services. I am thinking that maybe I should just stop dealing with CMH and go to a private therapist but the damn state of MI has a terrible medicaid system and I can’t get the same assistance that I had in CA. But I do need a therapist because I am on disability for bipolar disorder and I also have borderline personality so I think therpy is just as important as meds to help me cope with my life.

I looked up some local therapists on the internet. Found one that takes my insurance. I’m gonna call her this week to check it out.

u know i didnt go looking for someone to help guide me thru life – my best friend since 3 years ago had discovered a lovely canadian lady who did psychotherapy/counselling and discreetly suggested it would be good for me to go. since then i have had moments were i misunderstood how things were going and underestimated its value -but its good A best thing i ever did

I need need NEEEEED to do this again.

I mean, I have NOTHING – NO. THING. – to be sad about. Yet, I am constantly sad and I cannot shake it alone.

I have had good therapists before but because of the way things work in my life, I do not have them anymore, and even if I wanted to I would not be able to get them back. Not by any fault of mine – again, it’s just the way that things work in my life.

Point is, I either need a New Best Friend or a captive audience. A captive audience is easier to find, especially if they are the sort you can pay money to, or that your insurance can pay money to.

I just need to find ways to shake this darkness that hovers over me all of the time. Since the drugs aren’t necessarily working, and since very few people seem to understand that this is a chemical thing INSIDE ME, not just a switch that can be flipped on and off at will, I’m thinking this is really something I need to try again.

...and hope that it really helps this time.

The most amazing thing about my therapist is the way we think alike. We’re not the same gender, age, social class, and probably religion but our minds think in very similar ways. I’m very visual, I work in a lot of metaphores, and the precise use of words is very important to me. I lucked out and found a good therapist on the first try.

It’s hard to always be honest, it’s hard to face all the inner demons and struggle through the inner molasses, but so far it’s been worth it.

Okay, so I found the therapist and went to the sessions…

but I kinda wanted to find the therapist BEFORE I decided on a divorce.

Oh well. It all worked out how it was going to, anyway. And I’m fine with that.

On Wednesday I have a meeting with a new therapist that specialises in anxiety disorders. This is the first non-Christian counsellor I will go to. I will not close my mind to everything that she has to say, but I’m going to lay it to her straight. I just pray that I can be open enough to tell her what is on my mind.

my husband and i have been going to marriage counselling for a wee while now and the counsellor we see there is AMAZING! i REALLY i want to see what the chances are of seeing her for a while, outside of relationship counselling.

like, i have been in and out of counselling my entire life and i have only had two counsellors i like, both being men, but i think i might really enjoy being with this woman for a while. she is brilliant and doesn’t tend to make me feel patronized, judged and stupid. i find a lot of counsellors in england do that…

we shall see.

Today I went to my old doctor (I’m home again!) and she suggested finding a therapist before I go on meds if I do. I need to do that ASAP. I’m going through an anxious cycle again. I’m afraid that I’m going to live in the therapist’s office once I find a good one.

I’ve never been to therapy, but I’d like to have a therapist on hand. I’m a Christian, and I’m aware that many Christians look down on therapy or anti-depressants. I am fully for them if they are needed, and I would like to have a therapist. She doesn’t even have to be a believer, but she needs to respect my goals and desire to be all who God has called me to be.