They’re both so unable to relax that it’s contagious. 17 months ago

I moved away from my family when I was 19 years old. I moved out of state, but I still went back to see them occasionally. Then 2 years ago I moved across the country and haven’t been back to see them since. I do miss them, and I do talk to them (very irregularly), but they are very toxic, neglectful, and full of drama. Don’t judge me for being the black sheep…meaning I actually graduated high school, went on to college, didn’t become a drug addict or alcoholic, have multiple children by multiple people (married or not), end up in jail and/or welfare. I chose to better myself. I know that you can’t run away from your problems, and I am not a cold hearted b*itch. My priorities in life is creating my own family and doing right by them. I did not get to choose my family that I was born into. 20 months ago

My parents are back from their holiday. They want to see me tonight. I was on the phone with my mother but my dad took the phone and asked that I have dinner with them. It’s unlike him to take the phone like that. I have a bad feeling about this. It’s obvious he’s going to admonish me. I wish once in my life I could share a moment with my father without having to be on my guard. My relationship with him is pretty crappy at this time. 20 months ago

Not properly done yet, I’ll write an entry on this when I have time. This is all a bit unexpected and I’ve been feeling quite down because I don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve this but on the other hand, neither have I done anything to deserve much of the $#!+ I’ve been through these last two years, so I guess it evens out. I’m finally done with my exams and my depression seems less extreme than a few months ago so I believe I would have gotten there little by little anyway, let’s just see this temporary support as a little help kick. And a welcome one, I can’t deny that. 23 months ago