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Stop saying "sorry" so often

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sweetnamNo more sorries

I had a co-worker point this out to me, and it made me feel bad. She asked if I had low-self esteem and how my confidence was. This caught me off guard and I felt nervous and some what targeted, but I believe she had good intentions since she’s studying to be a counselor. Since then, I haven’t been able to shake this off my mind. I read some of the “How I did it entries” and they seem to have a couple things in common: counting how many times they apologize and having someone to point it out for you.

This also made me think ‘why’ I do this. And the only thing I can come up with is my childhood. My step-father was very strict on me and also abusive. At times he called me his ‘subordinate’ and I would have to say ‘Yes sir’ whenever he was talking to me. No matter how much I tried to please him so I wouldn’t get in trouble, there would be always something ‘I screwed up on’ and I had to listen to him yell at me, calling me names (like a b*tch or tramp), how I’m lazy and no one likes me. The best way to make the time go faster was to agree with him and say sorry, whether I believed he was right or not. At some point, I stopped fighting and just agreed to everything – and perhaps all this has contributed to my low self-esteem.

This was a long time ago, but I’m still in the healing process from this past. I am fully aware that all yelling and name calling, I did not deserve – and nothing was my fault. So I have the right mind set and now I just have to get out of this bad habit. This goal has become even more important to me now, that I’ve realized it’s linked to my step-father. It’s my way of fighting back. 2 months ago


sweetnam 2 months ago


la_peace 6 months ago


waitingalarms 10 months ago


FlyingMintBunny 14 months ago


futurefreelancer 16 months ago


brighteyes82 2 years ago


user12917Ugh

I have a huge problem with this! My mom, who I love dearly, was a weak person as I was growing up she remains a chronic worrier and apologizer to this day. Dad, on the other hand, was extremely harsh and didn’t believe kids should be kids (not his fault, he was out plowing the fields at age 7, never had a childhood himself). Result? A highly motivated, perfectionistic worrisome apologizer.

I struggle against the negative traits all the time, am actually a strong person, but I find myself frequently saying ‘sorry’ at work, and without good reason. This really needs to stop; I feel that if you do good work but apologize a lot others will get the impression that you DON’T do good work and make lots of mistakes. Plus it’s just annoying, makes you seem weak even if you aren’t. Sorry has it’s place, but not in excess. Perhaps by goal will be to banish it from my vocabulary with the exception of true apologies. 2 years ago


user12917 2 years ago


user10276 2 years ago


Freshly_Picked 2 years ago


Kaitlin McCreery 3 years ago


africaortiz 2 years ago


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