stop fighting with my father

So it’s been almost exactly one year since I wrote my last entry and guess what? I’m fighting LESS with my father (I still have this up as my goal, however, because I haven’t stopped completely)! How did I do it? Simple! I moved into a new house! And although I only live exactly four minutes away from my parents, those precious four minutes mean I don’t see him everyday; they mean I can make my own decisions about things; they mean I don’t always ask my father’s opinion of things I’m doing. And, because of those things and more, my father and I fight a lot less! I honestly don’t believe I’ll every completely stop fighting with my father, I believe people that love each other tend to fight the most. But at least now I have lessend the amount of times per day/week/month/year that my father and I fight. I still have a picture from the last entry. I can remember the fun we had that day. The other day my dad actually told me I’m “one of the bravest people” he knows. I didn’t cry at that point, but I got pretty damned close. I love my father and I’m glad that we fight less. I just hope this lasts.

Today I wanted to carve a pumkin for my Samhain celebration. Samhain is the Pagan word for Halloween. Anyway, as I have real problems with my body (see my entries about my non-profit organization), it was going to be very hard to do this. My mom, always claiming she’s not artistic, wanted to stay out of the room. So that left my dad. I was a little worried about what would happen, considering every other time my dad and I try to work together on something we always end up arguing half way through and don’t get the work done. This pumkin was extremely important to me, so you may be able to tell why I was a little worried. Well we worked on it, and mistakes were made, but I let them go when my dad said he could take care of it and when he relized he was wrong about something he admited it, so the point of all me saying this is…..

WE DIDN’T FIGHT!!! Not once, not even the slightest bit. We pretended to fight to rag on my mom, but that was the only amount of yelling the entire night. We even took a picture of ourselves with the pumpkin afterwards and no one had tears in their eyes or anything. It was amazing.

I hate the fact that I fight with my father. My father is a good person. As a matter of fact, why am I calling him my father, when he’s realy my dad. Like they say, anyone can become a father, it takes a special person to be a dad. And he is a good Dad. The thing is, we are so much alike that we fight, all the time. It does nothing to help our lives, and in fact makes three people’s lives worse, my mom, my dad, and I. We fight about everything, you name it, we have probably fought about it. And sometimes it’s over the stupidest thing. Sigh…I don’t know how to make it better. My shrink says I should try to talking ot him about it about it when we aren’t fighting. But when I ask him why he does something, he always says “oh, you know, I just did.” The other problem is that when an arguement is declared over at my house, it’s over, no if’s and’s or buts about it. At least, that’s the way it is if I’m fighting with my parents…and with my dad it’s especially true.Sigh…how do I change this???? Sigh…