learn to make polite, empty chit chat

Being socially awkward like I am, this is a skill that is rather difficult for me. When I was younger, it seemed easy because adults would always lead and ask me about myself so I was a cute little conversationalist. I got this comment all the time. Now that I’m grown up with a real job, I find awkward moments of silence all the time or feel like I’m inflicting my idle chatter on someone when I’m with them.

I need to work on this skill!

Sometimes you just want to be polite to the people around you without getting into a heavy conversation or [worse!] an argument… If you need practice, try to meet your friend’s relatives at a party. You have your friend to tell you everything you need to know beforehand, and you can learn to do it before your career depends on it. I’ve found that my friends’ older relatives are especially good at chatting, and they often enjoy the attention.

It is worth learing how to make small talk. It is best to see it as a sort of very subtle game. Your objective should be to make your interlocutor like you. This is best done through subtle flattery, mild flirtation and by careful listening.

It is particularly enjoyable to flirt with elderly or unattractive people: they are so much more appreciative. Allways offer to get them drinks and say how elegant they look.

Remember that what is small talk to you, is big talk to someone else. And that for shy people in particular, formal events can be very difficult. If you can put them at ease then you become very powerful socially.

You can also use these situations to promote yourself in your career. You should have elegant business cards and hand them out. I have done quite well this way.

Another amusing possibility is to introduce people to each other; ideally people who are likely to find each other disagreable as this can be quite comical.

It sucks. I had it Perfected. And then I started going crazy. I can’t do it anymore, I’d rather jump off a cliff.

It’s easy if you just think how interesting other people are, and they’re only waiting to answer whatever question you have for them. Why do they do what they do? Where did they grow up? I find other people really interesting, especially on a personal level.

talk about the weather, ask questions about who you are talking to….people love to talk about themselves. I am the queen of the small talk and I die inside everytime I have to do it. I’d rather go to the dentist…..yucky, but unavoidable at times. Just smile and nod, and pray for a power outage!

almost everyone has done this before, at any time of their life. Sometimes when you need to be stuck with someone you really don’t know you try to fill in the silence with (rather) meaningless conversations, just so both of you wouldn’t feel awkward.

Yep. It’s hard NOT to make polite, empty chit chat when you serve as many customers as I do on a regular working Saturday. I am quite the polite, empty conversationalist.

Learn to talk to people, not chit-chat. Reveal yourself; be transparent; listen well; ask questions. If you are reasonably honest and genuinely interested in other people and able to believe that everyone and everything just MIGHT have something to teach you and just MIGHT be a divine emissary for you at this second (though they don’t know it), small talk can be large, empty can be full, and chit chat can be genuine, authentic exchange.

but that’s the point. If you get good at it you can make a conversation from nothing. Voila!

lol.. it helps to laugh