love myself

I’m very vain, very self conscious, and very self loathing.

I’m an amazing saboteur because I don’t believe that I deserve success. At anything.

I’m sick of it.

No one will love you until you love yourself.

You will never really love anyone else until you love yourself.

And love is, like, pretty damn cool.

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I were lying on his couch together talking. He knows that I don’t always think highly of myself, so he said, “Tell me why you hate yourself. I don’t understand it because everyone else you’re surrounded by, your friends, family, me.. we all love you. So why do you hurt yourself by saying things like that?”

I was so surprised at what he’d said to me. I don’t hate myself at all! Yes, I say bad things about myself sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I hate myself right? After he’d spoken, he looked at me with the softest look in eyes that I’ve ever seen and said, “I don’t want you to ever put yourself down. You’re not only hurting yourself, you’re hurting everyone else that cares about you. Promise me that much.”

I don’t break promises, so for that reason, I don’t make promises I can’t keep. And I told him I couldn’t promise him that. He looked at me with so much hurt in his eyes and said, “I want to love yourself as much as I love you. Promise me you’re gonna try.” Hesitantly, I promised.

It’s not that I don’t want to love myself.. that’s not why I didn’t want to promise. The reason is, I don’t know how. I don’t know how to make it so I’m not always thinking negative thoughts; or comparing myself to others; or thinking that my friends deserve a better friend, my parents deserve a better daughter, my boyfriend deserves a better girl.

How do I stop breaking my own heart?

I’ve been noticing lately that I’m getting more comfortable being myself. I’m not really quite sure why that is, but I am. I feel less caring about what I look like although I am self conscious sometimes.

all of me…it comes in phases…then i go back to square one… i need to be comfortable with everything i am and know what that is. i have this fear inside of me that im not good enough and there is something that seemes to always be trying to tear me down. I never thought that it was so important to love yourself and have always had some sorta fear of vanity. idk bottom line i need to come to terms with whoever i may be

its not that i dont love myself at all… or else i wouldn’t have alive till this date…

there had been lots of up n downs… lots of bitter experience from people… for a long time i had lost all my hope,, faith in myself,,
lots of time i hate myself..wasn’t happy with myself at all…
but…
may be there was deep love for life in my heart.. that help me in painful.. solitude… path of my life…

We dated on and off from 7th to 10th grade when I came to my senses. He was embarrassed of me and never wanted to tell anyone we were together. The end of senior year he asked me out and I figured “What the hell, I’m leaving for school in 8 weeks, nostalgia maybe.” That night he asked if we could have sex, I turned him down. I hadn’t heard from him since until I get an e-mail on MySpace from Prince Charming recently pledging is undying crush (still!) and asking if we could get together. He conveniently left out his 3 year girlfriend. I told him he was the kind of person who got his kicks from hurting others and that he peeked in high school.

I might have mentioned how bad of a kisser he was and the receding hairline too. Maybe.

Sometimes vindication, immature as it may be, is so nice.

i have been very loving to myself until this past week. i ahve let my guard and boundries down and now am suffering for it. i dont know why i do this with “hinm” but i do. one time i will learn that it is now worth this pain.

That telling yourself, “I’m hot” is kind of vanity- and kind of loving yourself - That telling yourself, “I value myself” isn’t really vanity it’s taking responsibility for yourself - That telling yourself, “I matter” isn’t a matter of subscription to some shallow construction or impetus to your growing ego - it is you as an individual taking it upon yourself to bring yourself all the happiness in the world. And to love, you.

I remember a quote which said that nobody will love you unless you love yourself first. I have been loathing myself for the past twp years for not doing alot of productive things which would have improved my life, but it’s really time for changes. Loving myself to me is not literally loving my own self, but more of an an understanding that I can look into the mirror each day and be content with my image, exercising daily so that I feel great, plus have more energy to do more things, and feel good about myself, not taking it hard on myself for how I feel because I was not as active as I were a few years ago, and be active.

I’m the most ugly horrible person to myself. I hate every aspect of the way I look.

I get sick each time I look in the mirror.