love myself

fafda

I have hit a turning point. I know I have said this countless times before but I cannot go on on this trajectory of steady increase in weight. I do not like how I look and feel at this weight. I am inspired by my aunt who has lost 50 lbs and looks awesome (she is 68 yo and does not have cancer, HIV, any systemic illness to cause weight loss). I really think it is going to have to be like alcohol, one day at a time, one minute at a time.
I will be updating this goal regularly. I put it here rather than under any of the fitness headings because weight has a lot to do with how I feel about myself. I want to be more disciplined about my weight. This comes in part from my father who criticized my aunt for being overweight, and he also called her lazy.
I think there are 2 similar things here. One is how I feel about my weight = disappointed in myself. Two is how I feel about myself = frustrated and disappointed. I want to be able to love myself but I have a hard time doing this when I am constantly disappointing myself regarding the weight.
Come on please lets do something positive.

First step is stop smoking, drink less in partys and eat more schocolate! Omnomnom.. Schocolate is love :D

Things I admired about myself today:
-That I didn’t get an annoyed tone with the ppl who were annoying me
-That I worked hard to get a task done at work that I was asked to do, even tho I don’t particularly like doing it
-I told “him” I would take care of him when he gets back to florida cuz he’s got a cold
-I wore makeup and put my hair up
-I’m a strong woman even tho life isn’t perfect by far

Things I admired about myself today..
-I didn’t blow up as bad as I could have when Jerry was saying things I didn’t like
-I’m not continuing to text him, even tho I’m still upset
-I am trying hard to reach my goals
-I make a lot of progress every day
-I was honest when the bank made a mistake that could have benefited me
-I called a friend and even pretty much accepted her invitation to go out even tho I don’t think I’ll have a good time

Things I admired about myself today..
-I went out alone and felt good about it
-I looked cute, even with my glasses on
-I spent a good chunk of my money on gifts for other people
-I did some studying
-I didn’t beg for attention from my boyfriend
-I’m smart, kind, and have good intentions
-I called Jerry’s mom to try to hang out with her

I didn’t realise how the majority of my problems had existed simply because I had not loved and valued myself enough.My journey to me loving myself completely is already half travelled as I discover the beauty,love and worth I possess in my heart.All that I need to do is to start loving this beautiful creation of God so that the rest of the world can enjoy all that it(being me)has to offer.

I am ready to start living the life that I was trully meant to have,and it will all start with acknowledging and embracing my self-worth!!

I was shopping for fruit & vegetables & saw some lovely tulips.

I hesitated to buy them because they were opening up, but then the manager came along & reduced the price ! I picked up some lillies instead but really loved the tulips so I bought them. Lovely blessings to them & for myself. Thankyou :)

It was nice to treat myself. They really made me feel happy :)

for yesterday and today. 2 patients thanked me for helping them. I am getting more caught up. A few no shows. A few things went my way. I was able to leave work in a timely fashion. I voted. I napped. I exercised. My lamps came. Thank you for these 2 days and for letting me appreciate them.

Finally I treated myself to a massage after many months !

My scapula had risen up towards my shoulder & is causing headaches so the massage therapist (who was so gentle & made me so relaxed), released the tension & gave me advise to do certain exercises at the gym…rowing pull down for middle & lower scapula muscles.

Also to eat whey protein at the health food store to supplement my diet. He was also a fitness instructor.

I felt like I could have fallen asleep getting the massage.

It went for an hour & was so very relaxing & therapeutic.

I have booked myself in for another 2 appointments in the next 2 weeks before the studen clinic goes on summer vacation until next march / end february 2010. So that is December / January / February until next massages unless I can find a good one that is affordable too in the meantime.

:)

I feel like I almost need a massage on a daily basis. Would be lovely ! Can’t overdo it though ! :)