play cello more

Played Bachianas #1 last night with the Portland Cello Project. This was the shit. The group is totally positive and supportive and made up of cellists of all different abilities & ages & everything, all playing cello cause they love to. We’ve got a show in a couple weeks in front of 600! people! at the Aladdin theater, and I’m trying not to bug out about my solo. I have NEVER played a solo in front of that many people, but I feel like I could maybe, maybe do it, with this group.

So, I realized the conservatory is a horrible space for me to be productive in, because it’s mad stressful, and because practicing there has this gross tendency to remind me of certain gangrenous ex-boyfriends who used to hang out in the practice rooms all the time when I was trying to get shit done. At the time, I thought it was kinda sweet and romantic, but now I realize I never accomplished much when he was around, and now the space doesn’t feel like mine so much anymore.

So, I’ve started practicing in my room or in my living room. This is good because:

• It isn’t cacauphonous
• It doesn’t remind me of gangrenous people
• My windows actually open!
• There are better acoustics, anyway
• I tend to breathe a little more and be a little less tense in my own house than in the fuckin con

Yeah, we’ll see how it goes…

I really wanna practice at least 3 hours a day, but be satisfied if I play 2 1/2 hours every day, and not get really pissed at myself if I practice less. I really, really, really wanna not practice less than 1 1/2 hours any day, cause I’ve got this scary recital April 14th, which seems much more scary any day I don’t practice for some amount of time with some substance.