why am i here? what does it all mean? why can i not be happy? ooooo the despair… is it socially acceptable to put sugar on top of a previously sugared cereal, or wear clip-on ties to funerals? what am i to make of paradox and contradiction? am i still a good person if i utterly disregard the needs of my machines? that last applies primarily to my car, a disaligned, dented and decaying beastie sobbing for an oil change and a bright, shiny new muffler…never, i say, for in time the machines will rule the world, so i’m wielding my authority while i still can…and suffer they shall…on a slightly more serious note i think all philosophy eventually returns to one deceptively simple problem: is life worth living? why or why not? is there any action that one can perform without serving one’s self first and foremost? can one choose, or merely convince themselves that there was a choice to be made in the first place? desire destroys choice in this fashion-you will always do what you want to best gratify yourself, regardless of the actual result or the manner in which it is later judged…for the most part, the perception of a completed action in this society is a factor of the result…ie. what was accomplished? but there are no universals, there are no intrinsic goods or bads in any specific action or object; that is, nothing is always one or the other simply by virtue of its nature…i don’t believe in truly selfless acts-there is always a selfish goal in mind, and though it needn’t necessarily be calculated it inevitably undermines the concept of choice…you will do what best gratifies the most imperative need you have at any given time-the need, of course, changes drastically from person to person…i’m not suggesting that selfishness is inherently evil or to be frowned upon, though most everyone has negative associations with the word…at the heart of it people always satisfy the peculiar demands of their personal moral system, however they’ve determined it…which might be why this world is such a mess…
The truth is an endless death agony. The truth is death. You have to choose: death or lies. I’ve never been able to kill myself.
-Celine
