learn to stand up for myself

Usually I let people do what they want and I end up in situations I don’t want to be. I want this to change, and today I gracefully stood in my place and didn’t make any decisions just to please someone else. It feels good :) but I don’t think I should take this off my list just yet…

stop being sooo nice and speak my mind.
learn how to say no.
people will respect you more anyways….

1. Always speak your mind—refuse to be intimidated
2. Never question yourself—have confidence in yourself

sometimes i let people walk all over me and i don’t say when things are bothering me

Today I had a disagreement with my mother in law, and I said NO! Oh it was so hard. She wanted to have Vicky tonight and tomorrow during the day, but I told her that I can take there tonight, but tomorrow her father has to take her to the daycare. because I want her to go to the daycare. She missed 1 day last week, and a few times last month…. And there is a limit of the days she’s not attending the daycare. I was waiting for so long for this daycare, and finally got her in, now I am not risking this. So I said I am going to pick her up tomorrow morning (the father is busy as usual) and this is the condition. So I am proud of myself.
And another big one is coming – Christmas…. I am not letting my baby go there on Christmas. And I have to find a polite way to tell her (which will be hard). Sorry, but Vicky is my only family here, and soon to be ex husband has his mother here, and she has him. My mother in law offered me to go to a party (not some party in particular, but any party). Surprisingly they all of a sudden want me to go to a party. Usually when I have plans for going out on Friday or Saturday the people are busy…. And actually I am going to a party on the 24th in the evening, but I’m takin vicky with me. She’s a party girl from the day she was born, so we’ll have fun. And on the 25th we will stay home.

ok, let’s get this straight – I have no qualms about being a bitch. I can’t stand the flippant use of the word ‘bitch’, so therefore I decided years ago to take it as a compliment (well, more or less) when people said i was a bitch. mind you, it’s usually my sisters or close pals calling me out on me being a bitch, which i think is funny and a good reality check to chill out.

Anyway, i digress- my point is, what is the fine line between Standing Up for Myself and Being a Beeotch? I also need to work on letting things go – so i suppose my goal at the moment is to discern when to let things go graciously (a fine art),and when to assert myself. In the past i’ve chosen the wrong moments for each.

Would love to chat with someone who also experiences this problem. I tend to take out my anger in ugly ways, at the wrong times. Letting things build, and getting too upset with the wrong person.

Yesterday I felt a bit salty at two different times, when someone, in a public situation, acted in a rude way toward me. I chose to let both instances go, and not stand up for myself. I think i did the best thing by letting it go – but i can never be sure. For ex., i went to step aerobics last night. We were a good 7 minutes into the class. Instructor had already been thru the spiel of “make sure you can all see me, and my legs”, so as to follow along.
Then a woman came on late, and, despite heaps of room in the back of the class (where i would personally put myself upon entering late), she set up her step directly in front of mine,at the front of the classroom. No regard at all for her blocking me. I had to stop the routine, get down and push my step a bit so that it wasnt lined up with hers.

Thanks, lady. Now, I was annoyed, and thought she was very rude. But, as i continued to work out, i realised she probably is just unthoughtful and clueless. Should i politely say something to her at the end? Could do. But i didn’t. Didn’t think it was worth it.

Anyway – I shall report back when I do find an instance where standing up for myself is actually necessary, and i do just that.

i have spent a good portion of my life paying for all of my friend’s at restaurants or at the movies because they supposedly “forgot” their money again. honestly, it took a boyfriend who used me to wake me up to how much harm one brings upon themselves, by letting themselves be walked on. just remember, anyone who will take advantage of you, isn’t worth your time. :)

I seem to never do what is right no matter how I do it….I am so sick of being told to do trhis and do that or why did you do it like that instead of this!!! I want to just say to someone you do it if you donñt like how I do it do it yourself!! Also I am tired of everytime that I have a discussion with my husband I am the one who never knows what I am talking about, so not to end up in a fight I just let it be and let him think that he knows everything and that he is right…..URRRRGGGHHH it is so annoying and makes me feel like I am stupid!!!

Why is it so hard to speak my mind without fearing judgement by others?

my problem is that i wait until i feel completely trampled on and then i explode and am extreme bitch of universe.
i need to learn how to stick up for myself without being insane bitch from hell.
hm.