procrastinate more

...and I’m not too happy about it.

I read somewhere that making New Year’s Resolutions leads to depression. Maybe that’s what happened. I don’t know. It seems that looking back over 2008 just made me feel terribly depressed over how little I’ve done in the past year, and how hard it is for me to get things done.

And I say to myself I want to change, but something inside me really doesn’t want to change, and is afraid of change, big-time.

I don’t even want to write about it here. But I just did anyways.

that I want to keep doing it!

I gave up on this because I think it’s not a good idea anymore. I’ve been doing it way too successful and more seams less to me now. I’d rather resolve to getting more things done.

I have been so idle I thought I never could be an I WANT MORE.

Yes, this is my most favourite hobby, and I love helping others procrastinate too! I have an exam wednesday so….i thought i’d update everything on 43 things! And it makes me happy!

I have finally scheduled procrastination into my day and forced myself to do it regularly. It has had its rewards—especially because I try to choose nourishing activities for my procrastination time slots, such as walks, music, studying, washing the dishes, and so forth—but after several months of this, and busy times ahead, I think I’d like to relax and cut down on my schedule, so I’m going to have to mark this goal as Completed, and put off more procrastination until later. Until then, may all you others keep the spirit.

You know what… everyone is obsessed about stopping their procrastinations, and i felt like this was optimal until only a few hours ago, but now, upon reflection i know that my procrastinations reflect my choosing of the optimal path for me in the now. For example, rather than thinking of all the things i should be doing, i should think of all the things i AM doing. Think of all the things that i have done whilst procrastinating (relating to other things i “should be doing”), like only yesterday for example i found out the difference between a wood and a forest, and today i have updated my blog and my list on 43 things, and talked to people on messenger, and drank more tea than usual, and looked out of the window a lot… and it’s really these things that give existence purpose rather than things imposed on us by contemporary societal boundries (deadlines etc). We should do things for ourselves which at the same time are things in themselves, not making a cup of tea to delay starting something else but just simply making a cup of tea. This will be at the top of my mental (and cyber-physical) list of things to keep up. I’m proud of the things i do whilst procrastinating.

I hate to be in hurry, I hate to even think about being in time. I don’t have a watch around my wrist. I hate time, I hate clocks, I hate stress, I hate competition, I hate money. I DON’T EVEN LIKE BEING GROWN-UP. I guess I never grew up then, hopefully I never will.

How’d that happen?

I’m tired of being organized and responsible. I need a longer day so I can procrastinate more and better.