Well, where to begin? Last night Henry got left outside all night because John and I got into an argument and got mad at each other and forgot him. Boo. When we let him in this morning he was all wild-eyed and dirty. Oh dear. My little hobo.
Also, this morning we got a call that someone wanted to come and look at the house!! So I sprung up out of bed and got to work at hiding all our crap in drawers and under the bed and wiping down any noticable surfaces. Then I leashed up the dogs and took them to the car. On my way out I noticed that a bird started randomly building a nest next to our front door. I would have taken a picture of it if I wasn’t going insane trying to sweep the entranceway at that moment. Mother Nature is conspiring against the sale of our house! I mean, have you ever heard of a bird building a nest on the GROUND? Have you ever heard of CATS you dumb bird? Just doesn’t make sense.
Anyway, so we all got into the car somehow and as I was putting the wild dogs in there of course the realtor (not ours) pulls up in front of the house…well, sortof. He pulls in front of our next door neighbor’s house…which has been abandoned for months and the yard is a tangle of weeds and he parked right in front of the one part of our yard I haven’t gotten to yet and of course it looks like crappo. THANKS A LOT!
Well, we get in my little SUV that has a huge tent in the back of it (one of those temporary shelter ones that you always see at Quad day and stuff like that) that belongs to a friend of ours. It’s been in our garage for months because she hasn’t picked it up and John cleaned out the garage and I put it in my car so I could store it at the church where we have Young Life (I was going to take it over there tonight). I put my little fathead Juicy in the backseat, which is half clear and he has a perfectly nice seat to sit in, but he decides he’d rather sit ON the TENT. Yes, big white poles and a dirty tarp look good to him. So he climbs up there and he gets his short little fat legs stuck in the tent poles and he starts to CRY so I have to pull over and try to jimmy the tent on top of the half-raised backseat so he can’t get on it anymore. The moment I get back on the road, though, the backseat almost collapses on him and I have to YANK him out of the way while IN MOTION. Luckily he doesn’t squashed, but he does get called a “retard.”
So THEN (oh yes there’s more) I get the bright idea that I’m gonna take Henry and Juicy to this cool park over by our church that I have been meaning to take them to for years. I figured it wouldn’t be too crowded so early in the day and it was really nice outside. So I get them out, finally get a hold of the leashes and off we go! Then 10 feet later they both decide it’s time to have a nice, long poo. Grrreat. About 50 people walk by at this point and smile and wave. Hello, everyone. Then a beautiful golden retriever girl runs by and there goes our lovely walk.
So about 20 mins later we’re all exhausted from pulling on each other so I drive over to the church to get the tent outta the car. I get it out and Henry starts looking at me and whining like he’s gotta poop…again. Dangit. At this point, I need Starbucks BAD. So we roll through the window and the guy at the window was very nice, but he was very busy looking at Henry and me and forgot my drink (oh yes he took my money). Whoops. So I finally get my coffee and decide to be nice to hobo Henry and I let him out in a little patch of grass to go poop. Well, instead of making poop, Henry finds poop and immediately stops, drops and rolls. OH MY STARS I WANT TO KILL THIS DOG.
So, we go home. The dogs are sleeping like babies and I’m venting to a computer.
