judge less

I tend to have a lasting perception of a person by one less than perfect encounter…I want to be more forgiving and accepting.

impossible. i give up.

I have a habit of taking the first impression I get of someone and running with it. I imagine what they must be like based on one interaction we had, or one stupid thing they said, and my overactive imagination makes up a whole personality for them.
I am very quick to judge, and if someone does something I consider silly or thoughtless, I don’t give them another chance, I judge them straight away to be a silly or thoughtless person.

Then again some people are just silly and thoughtless!
This one’s going to takke a lot of work…

it opens up so many opportunities to get to know others & yourself in a whole different light..

BUT! judging people before you know all the facts is just being plain ignorant.

you really have to inspect things that you think and other people say. and you have to be willing to stand up for people you don’t even know. and stand up to your friends.

I used to see this man walking down Main Street every morning on my way to school. I nicknamed him Bob and every morning I’d think, “There’s Bob!” He was pretty old and shabby looking and usually just walking slowly, smoking a cigarette. I assumed he was homeless and a bum, and I never gave it much thought beyond that.

AND THEN…I got to high school. I walked into my Latin 1 class and guess who was there. Oh yes…it was Bob. Bob, my homeless bum, is a Latin scholar who graduated from Tufts and lectured at Harvard and can recite the entirety of Virgil’s Aeneid. He speaks 6 languages fluently. Oh yeah, and he’s not homeless or even poor; he walks rather than drives because he likes to. He taught me Latin for four years and I now respect him more than anyone on Earth- and to think I passed him off as a homeless bum. Who am I to judge?

I find myself unable to listen without giving my often opinionated point of view. Especially in situations where I am talking with someone who is less intelligent.. When people make comments about things that “just don’t make sense” it really gets to me and I find myself unable to “just listen”. I have worked in many research/analytical positions and often find myself analyzing EVERYTHING!!!!

In terms of judging people, I can say that I give people the benefit of the doubt when I first meet them, but once they say something stupid.. they really get the cold shoulder from me. It seems as if those who know the least want to speak the most… ughhhh

People often judge me because I am attractive and extremely confident. So people often assume that I am snooty, when I am actually very down to earth. I hear it all the time, “I would have never thought you were so cool…” so I don’t really judge people, per se, but need to learn to just listen and not ALWAYS feel a need to be right and or judge others for being so wrong!!!!!!

Agree to Disagree – I have been working on this one, even in relationships, versus trying to force my point.

I am taking a college course in Business Communications. The teacher was going over the news in which he discussed how Bono, the lead singer of U2 keeps his money in a foreign bank to avoid taxes. A girl in the class says, “Who’s U2?” in a really kind of snotty way. I thought to myself, “Okay, I am a little older than these “kids” and not EVERYBODY has to like U2. Fine.” But today in class there was a sentence that we were revising that said something like: Despite that Paris sang on the album, it sold. Then this same girl blurts out, “I bought that CD! It’s got some really good songs on it! My favorite is ‘Screwed’!” I said, “You don’t know who U2 is and you bought Paris Hilton’s CD?” I can’t help it but I think that girl is a moron. Sorry, guess I still need work on this one!

So I’m at a stop light waiting for the light to turn green. A guy probably in his mid to late thirties is riding a beat up, too-small BMX bike through the intersection. He is unkempt and wearing a monster truck shirt (no I’m not kidding). He is also carrying a six pack of cheap beer. I chuckled to myself as I automatically assumed he had his license revoked and didn’t hold a job. Then I felt guilty. Was I judging him? Maybe in order to save money for his mom’s expensive surgery he opts to ride a bike. Maybe he also decides to forgo hair cuts and showers in order to save money which he donates to charity. The beer could have been bought for use in his beautiful garden to scare off the snails that have been eating his ailing mother’s favorite flowers. How can you stop your brain from automatically categorizing people, places and things unfairly (or fairly even) when it is a natural part of human behavior?