be closer to my parents

I wrote my parents a card
“Thanks for raising me to be the person I am today”

sigh

I’ll make it up to them for the hurtful years.

But they do.

After years of being angry at how I was raised,
and how badly I treated them then, and
what insane acts committed that they went through.

Even through that, it really does amaze me
how much they love me.

It’s a strange and funny thing how you only
start realizing these things when you get older.

Being of asian heritage, communication has always been
a tough issue.

I don’t have much to say, but I talk to them.
It’s 1000x better than a decade ago.

I just don’t know what to talk about with them.

I would like to be closer to my parents,
but unsure as to what else I can do.
shruggles

You can’t change people. You must accept them.

I think not staying with my parents made a big difference. So much conflict was avoided by not having to worry about what time I would come home. And I got to spend some nice time with them, pretty relaxed. And I wasn’t stir crazy because I still got to go out and see my friends since it is just so much trouble to get my parents to go anywhere.

I think it should go ok, especially since I am not staying there. The biggest problem I have when going visiting is trying to balance my time between my parents and other friends so that nobody ends up feeling upset that I am neglecting them. Just not enough time for everyone! Stressed just thinking about it :)

they cancelled their trip to visit. Not sure where this one is going! Probably they have accepted whatever relationship we have and don’t see any need for it to be different. It’s not that we have a bad relationship. Just that it’s strictly one of worrying/advice and not of any kind of sharing. I guess after the teenage years of anger, rebellion, resentment, it is hard to backtrack through that.

I have to say I haven’t madea lot of effort on this one. We never really have discussions. It is mostly about what my plans are for the weekend, if I’m taking classes etc. (I suppose I could say this is true for most of my relationships, not just my parents) Which is better than nothing but it ends up being kind of superficial. Usually I try to stay away from the details because then they tend to go too much into advice mode, especially about trips. I think they have improved like 100% in the last year, as in, not trying to worry me out of going places. Have they finally accepted I’m an adult?? Probably not, I think they are focussing the worry on my sister instead. :) Only so much to go around! Well, they are coming to visit soon, I need to make some resolutions on how to work on this one!

I went to my parents today and stayed there for diner which was quite nice. I should to it more often.