be impeccable

But this goal is now subsumed under Follow The Eightfold Path

A true move is the powerful expression that emerges moment by moment from a space in which self and the world are playing.

- Arawana Hayashi

I’ve recently had some experiences meeting admirable people. When I thought about what I admired about them, it came to me that they seemed to be impeccable in areas of their lives that really mattered, and they were constantly working at being that way. When I was younger, I tried to be “perfect,” which didn’t work out all that well and made me crazy, I think because I was doing it more to affect what other people thought of me than because it was a lofty personal goal of some kind. So I gave up the whole perfectionist thing, in favor of a more sane, balanced and do-able life. But I now think that somewhere in there, the baby went out with the bath water—I gave up improvement for improvement’s sake. I think having impeccable standards is an admirable goal, so I’ll give it a try.

As in Mary Poppins. Being a single mother I aspire to her cleaning up games and spit spot attitude, magical manifestations out of carpet bags and hanging out above the clouds on a rainy day. She is so impeccable she never has to explain anything! I think I’ll be working on this for a while.

Right speech, explained in negative terms, means avoiding four types of harmful speech: lies (words spoken with the intent of misrepresenting the truth); divisive speech (spoken with the intent of creating rifts between people); harsh speech (spoken with the intent of hurting another person’s feelings); and idle chatter (spoken with no purposeful intent at all).

Notice the focus on intent: this is where the practice of right speech intersects with the training of the mind. Before you speak, you focus on why you want to speak. This helps get you in touch with all the machinations taking place in the committee of voices running your mind. If you see any unskillful motives lurking behind the committee’s decisions, you veto them.

—Right Speech

Something that is extremely important to me is that people do what they say they are going to do. I think a lot of people say that they are going to do something and I think that for the most part they mean it when they say it. Then when it comes time to do it, they find some reason not to. I don’t see how that is accounted for in right speech, but I think it is harmful speech when people fail to make commitments with care.

Recently one of my teacher’s bands played at the LA Farmer’s Market and many of us at the SMC had discussed going. We talked about it for several weeks. “See you there,” we said. I brought sanvea, both because I thought it would be a lot of fun to see the band and because I wanted her to meet these people. Yet, I saw nobody there that I knew. It is possible that I didn’t see them, but not likely. I think out of the 8 or so people who told me they’d be there, NONE of them came.

I do not believe that they lied to me. I don’t think they spoke with the intention of misrepresenting the truth. I think they all intended to go when they said they would. Then, Saturday comes around and it’s sunny or their girlfriend made other plans or they don’t feel like driving or the traffic was bad or they got sick or whatever. There’s always a place for stuff like this, but I think there are a lot of people who do not make commitments with care. When you say you are going to do something, it changes things. People make plans based on what other people say they’ll do. I really wanted sanvea to meet some of these friends of mine. Would I have taken her there if they had said they weren’t going? I don’t know.

Don’t get me wrong, we had a good time. But I’m using this to explore something. How is failing to do what you say you will do not harmful speech?

Years ago when I lived in Atlanta, a guy who worked with my girlfriend invited us to his birthday party. He was having a barbecue on the fourth of July. He asked us if we’d come to his party about 3 months in advance and we said we would. He never mentioned it again, there was no week-before reminder, but we didn’t have any reason to believe he wasn’t having the party. Come mid-morning on the fourth, we didn’t feel like going, so we didn’t.

About 4 days later we found out that he and his partner had gone all out in preparing for the party. His mom had flown to Atlanta to help and to attend. They had spent hundreds of dollars on food and beer. And then, nobody came.

Nobody.

It seems an unlikely nightmare. Statistically improbable. He was a great guy. He had a lot of friends who cared a lot about him. Yet, we all failed to go.

I feel so deeply incredibly sorry that we didn’t go. We said we would. We didn’t. I don’t care that 3 months had passed. It was a commitment. How is our failure to go not harmful? However, when we said we’d go, we had the intent to go. It was not at all intended to mislead.

Maybe that is it. Maybe it is a failure to act not of speech. Still, failure to live up to one’s commitments is still not one of the 10 unskillful acts (killing, stealing and sexual misconduct).

Even in this agreement, Be Impeccable With Your Word, the fact is, the ability to harm and destroy by failing to live up to your commitments is implied and not explicit.

The First Agreement is to be impeccable with your word. The Toltec gains awareness of the power of his word to create. Through the word we manifest everything; we express our will, our intent, our love and our faith. Human beings are powerful creators. Everything that exists in our world began as an idea and through the use of words we are able to manifest our dream. Not only are we able to create skyscrapers or send people to the moon, but we create our very life through the power of the word. (snagged from here)

I’ll keep my eyes open for how Buddhism promotes honoring commitments, making them with care and living up to them unless you simply cannot due to circumstances beyond your control. At the moment, it looks like a gaping hole in the philosophy, but 2,500 years of thinking through this sort of thing is definitely wiser than I am, so I must be mistaken. It must be there someplace as Buddhism says we are interdependent and our thoughts, actions and words have impact on ourselves and others.

Sila means virtue, ethics, morality, self-discipline, impeccability. Sila is a beautiful Sanskrit and Pali word. It means that which cools the intense broiling, roiling stew of passions and conflicting emotions. It’s like a shade tree in the desert of blazing, conflicting emotions, a shelter where we can find relief. Nonattachment, integrity, and a righteous, honest, impeccable life provides a shelter, a true refuge in our confusing times.

From a dharma talk

This goal stands replaced by Be mindful.

I saw the beautiful sculptures related to Buddha at Sarnath near Varanasi in India.I was fascinated by the perfection in the sculptures, around 2500 years old.Buddha’s image in different postures was carved impeccably by the unknown sculptors with a refinement difficult to describe in words.The posture of Buddha in these sculptures inspires a perfect posture which physiotherapists can only try to emulate.The fine carving of womens’ jewellery can inspire the best jewellers of today.I wondered what improvement any one could have introduced in the last 2500 years.I felt the beauty and grandeur which only Buddha could have inspired the world over in the centuries after his Nirvana.The visit inspired me to study and understand Boddhism.

I don’t think that this goal was being inconsistent with this other one (actually I considered them as the two sides of the same coin), but I’d like to pursue the same final goal in a more relaxed manner, so the concept of “making mistakes” is a bit more appealing than the one of “being faultless”.

Ok, I’m officially babbling…

means being attentive,aware and then focussed on the narrower area when you are listening.It means being focussed,comprehensive and precise when writing.Being polite,effortless and convincing when making a presentation.Today i did it and experienced an inner sense of joy.