get over my social anxiety

My social anxiety gets better everyday but then i have those days where its really bad , ex. if i have to take go shopping alone or i come into class late and people are staring. The thing is the only one who know about my social anxiety is me im really good at LOOKING calm when on the inside im freaking out. Those who do know find it hard to believe since i act like such a people person around those in my circle.

Lately this anxiety really has made my life difficult. I’m restless, but can’t go out. It drives me nuts.
I know booze helps, but I can’t go on boozing every day. I’m not going to lie: I lovelove drinking because it is the only thing that takes away my constant anxiety, but I really only drink when I go out to party (I only drink in excess, har har). There’s no way I’m going to turn a drunk because of this, ermm, problem so I know when to stop.
I was thinking that maybe I should go to some sort of therapy, but I dunno. I’m not going to kill myself anytime soon, so I don’t know if it’s necessary then. It sounds bad, but I don’t really value myself that high.

I freeze. My heart is going a mile a minute, my temperature rises, my body stiffens, I get nauseous and shake uncontrollably. My mind goes blank and I try to think of anything to say. but when I do say something, I see they’re judging me. They probably think I’m emo because I always have a blank face on. It’s hard for me to get out of the house because I’m so scared of people. My social skills are horrible and I’m no fun to be around what-so-ever. =[ I really want to fix this all and not be so insecure. I’m not sure how to get over it, but it’s a work in progress…

I’m not doing too well. I, however, make myself to go in social situations almost every day (well, I really have no choice, because I need to go to my classes) and I do not like it, but I still do it. Yay.

This is killing me. While I’m quite antisocial or more nicely said, independent (I don’t really need or want that many people around me), I’d be happy if I still could function in social situations. I just get stuck. I see people around me as hostile and unfriendly wherever I go. I think they’re watching and scrutinising my every move. It’s not always this bad, but when I’m alone and feeling down, it is.
I think this is to do with my low self esteem and the fact that I don’t really like myself. But if I was that bad a person that I think I am, wouldn’t I be stoned to death by now by the public? I’m not a bad person. I’m nice. I’m nice. Yes I am. I am. And people don’t look at me, I act perfectly normal in social situations, I’m just being schizophrenic.
This isn’t killing me, I, myself, am, because I won’t let go and leave myself be. I scrutinise my every move and worry too much and put myself down and hate myself way too much. Stop doing it!

Just realized that SA is probably a side effect of BDD.

holding back the panic

The support group may not be the best thing for me right now. I want it to be the answer to my problems, but I’m afraid it’s becoming an escape and not a solution.

I’m not sure what aspect of my social anxiety I want to change. On the one hand, I don’t mind NOT connecting with humanity… on the other, social anxiety is just so crippling.

People tell me that I never, ever appear to be afraid, when in social situations. I just kind of throw myself into them, they tell me. What they don’t realize is that behind the bubbly personality is a frightened little girl who just wants to get the heck out of there! I really, really want to get over that feeling. I still have trouble relaxing when talking to people I’ve just met. I sincerely hope to extinguish that fear one day. Otherwise, how the hell else am I going to function in this world?

I have had SAD for a long time. I started noticing that it was gettin out of control in high school. I would skip school to avoid giving a presentation, and I dropped out of college because I felt so shy and alone. I started going to therapy and taking meds so far I have tried Zoloft and paxil along with a blood pressure medication and ridlin(sp?). My main concern with my SA is that its noticable, I not only act shy but my face turns red and my chest gets splotchy and red. Its so embarrassing its gotten to where it controls what I wear and its a big reason why I’m going to college online now. Does anyone else have major problems with this and does anyone know and meds that actually work?